Confessions of a Not So Great Pageant Mom

So I believe I mentioned that M wanted to do the first ever little miss pageant in our town. I wasn't too keen on her doing it just because that isn't really our thing. We are practical every day people and not the pageant type. Some of our best friends, however, are delightful pageant people. My good friend is one of the premier pageant people in our state. She is amazing. Her kids are natural pageant kids. Not only are they gorgeous, they are also super confident and have been working on developing talents.


We have this pageant and on the last day of sign ups M decides she wants to do it. I go down and pay the fee and kind of forget about it. I take M to a couple of workshops and she has a bunch of fun. I found her a talent dress on super clearance at Dillards and we cut her violin piece down to the required time. That was the extent of our preparation. To me, the talent portion is the most important part because it requires years of work and I saw no need more M to practice more than she already does. Not many kids her age practice for an hour or more a day on an instrument.


The night before the pageant M decides she is wearing her old Easter dress (from TWO years ago). (See previous blog!) I still wanted her to wear her sparkly dress that actually fit when we left. I took her down for her interview and realized we forgot her violin of all things. What kind of mom forgets the instrument? That's right, a mom who just isn't good at the pageant thing. When we arrived I knew this wasn't going to be our thing. I wanted M to still be a kid. For heavens sakes, she hasn't even lost all of her teeth yet. I didn't want her fake eyelashes on her or heavy makeup. For dance, it is one thing. It's a costume. To me she was representing herself and I didn't want her playing the part of someone else. We put a little makeup on her and she did her thing. I had asked her on the way there if she would be bummed if she didn't win. She looked at me incredulously and told me she didn't want to win. "I don't want to ride on a float mom." That's my kid. We aren't attention seekers by nature and this pageant wasn't changing anything for my kiddo.

All the girls did their little intro dance and I could see her counting it out. She doesn't do that for classical ballet but when she is out of her element she is a counter. Still, I thought she looked so cute and so, well, her age. A lot of the girls had really high heels on and fancy shmancy this and that but no my girl. the poor kid probably did need new shoes as hers were hand me downs and too small. But she didn't complain. They had a little one inch heel. I could tell she liked the glamorous shoes but she didn't complain one bit.

The talent portion came and I only watched a few. I saw the rest the night before. She was great. I know I am her mom and all, but really if you ask any of my friends, they will tell you I am usually quite unbiased. But my M was really good. She had one of the strongest talents there. But once again, it wasn't flashy and there wasn't a real music type of judge.

She went back and changed into her 'partywear' and didn't change her mind. Just about every kid had on super fancy clothes. My M didn't let that change her mind. She just wanted to be herself. She had to be escorted out by a 16 year old boy and you could tell she didn't quite know what to do about that. Then she stood there for just a minute like a small girl before she gained her composure. It was perfect. DH was so glad she did this. He said he didn't want to see her come out and strut across the stage. She came out and was herself. She looked lovely and young. She was modest and classy without being overly glamorous. I decided she made the right choice in dresses.

When it came time to announce the winners I thought she might have a chance at being in the royalty or whatever it is called. Her talent was so strong. The winners were announced and it came down to the winner and she and her best friend were left. I knew her best friend would win because she was fabulous at the pageant thing. She was well prepared, had the look, the walk, and the confidence. I watched M to see how she would handle it. I was worried she might be sad.

Instead of being sad when they didn't read her name, she got the most ginormous smile. She was so incredibly thrilled for her best buddy. It's like it didn't cross her mind that she didn't win. I told DH that had M placed, I might not have gotten a chance to see such a genuine reaction. It was the best gift of the pageant for me.

I left feeling like I had the most awesome kid in the world. She might be a little stinker occasionally, but I know she is well grounded. I don't think I need to worry nearly as much that she will be a follower as she hits her teenage years. She's just a genuine and selfless kid. In the script there was a part thanking the parents telling them this is a pay day moment to see their kids on stage. The pay day moment for me came at the very end.

I think we are doing something right. It's such hard work raising these kids. M's not terribly difficult, but overall, just about every day is a struggle. We work so hard to instill good values and to teach them that when they do what is right, they can feel happy inside. My baby M, who is not so much of a baby anymore, showed me it's working. She did her best, made good choices, and felt great.

I asked her on the way home if she was done with the pageant thing. (I was sort of hoping not winning would do that to her.) No way! She said it was so fun and she wanted to do it again. UGH!

I love that kid.