Stubborn will be good someday

But for now, stubborn isn't such a great thing.

S has been screaming for over two hours because she doesn't want to go to bed. She is exhausted and is just so determined to not sleep. Tomorrow she will be wiped out and will undoubtedly wake up by 6:30. Right now she is telling DH that the dryer bell went off. Somewhere down the line she must have gotten attention for these negative behaviors. Her therapist told me she will only do things if there is some type of payback to her and that eventually she will learn that there is no payback, no attention for negative behaviors and only for positive behaviors. It's just taking her a very long time to learn. She just won't chose to give up her control even if it is making her miserable. The therapist has told me many times that it will be very challenging for her to relinquish her control. She really things she is in charge of everything and can take care of anything. It's hard to believe at three she feels that way. As a result, she just doesn't give up. It's going to be good someday. I keep telling myself that. But when you are tired, the stubbornness doesn't exactly rank high on the list of qualities you are admiring.

On a more positive note, I was able to get her hair in two french braids today for the first time. They were really cute and she liked them a lot.

I went to the ballet with a friend today. I had a great time. I need my friend time. It seems that there isn't really any of that anymore. It was nice to have a few hours sans kids. I have to thank DH for that. He was so kind and watched the kids much of the day. I'm really grateful as I am already feeling frazzled after the cries tonight. It just doesn't break him like it does me. Maybe it's because she screams, "Mooooommmmmy." I think she knows she has a better chance of breaking me.

DH did great in his race today. It was his fastest 10k yet. He ran a negative split by I think about 3 minutes. WTG DH!

I found an AWESOME deal on a bike today at a garage sale for T. I decided that we couldn't buy T a brand new bike because it just doesn't seem fair for D to always get a hand me down bike. So I have been on the lookout for a great used bike. The patience paid off and today I found a bike that retails for over 200 bucks and was in almost new condition for 20 buckaroos. The only problem was I had five kids in my car and couldn't get the thing home. T had to ride it, in his jammies, with mismatched flip flops over two miles home. He was so thrilled.

D moved up to the bike T outgrew. He is a tiny bit short for it but it still seems like a better match. He really likes riding it and did a really good job. He didn't give up quickly at all. I keep having to remind him to look forward instead of at the ground. He's thrilled.

I also bought another baseball mitt so the boys can play together, a snake and lizard book, some jeans for M and some Jazz shoes. I think I got all of that for 25.50. I could really get into garage sales. I would prefer to do them without five kids next time though.

C said the word bubbles for the first time today. She seems to be picking words up quickly now.

Lastly, T lost his tooth finally. YIPPEE, we are going out to dinner on Monday night. Once again, the tooth is lost somewhere on his bed. I guess the toothfairy will have to do without it.

School is Out

Now the fun can begin. I say that as I had 4 kids complaining about having to clean their rooms. C may have been complaining too. But since most of her words all sound like mumbo jumbo I didn't know it.

M had two parties she was invited to tonight. When did life become so exciting for an eight year old?

I drove to ballet today and the girls were doing some little funky song/rhythm thing with their hands and they would ask a question. M asked me what my favorite thing to do was in the 'olden times'. WHAT? I'm not that old. I had to ask for clarification. What are olden times exactly?

C say my for the first time today. She pointed to the stairs and said, "My dad." Awwww......

D managed to control himself a bit today when he started getting worked up because the seat belt wouldn't buckle the first time. Usually it turns into a huge ordeal. Today, when I told him to not give up, he only pouted for a few seconds and then kept trying. And to no one's surprise, he did it. I'm hoping something as little as that gives him the courage to keep trying when he wants to give up.

S had a hard day. Tonight when she went to bed she said, "I'm going to try to choose the right tomorrow." I hope she does. She was testing the waters though. We did have fun at the piano. I would play songs and we sang together. Granted, it wasn't lovely because I am self taught at the piano. Luckily, she doesn't know the difference. She loves to sing songs as I play and I have found that it is an activity I really enjoy with her. We are trying to do it everyday.

DH stayed home because it was M's last day. He tried to walk her to school but she only wanted to be walked as far as a friend's house. She's getting too old. He did pick her up though. It's a bit of a tradition. We had to harass her a bit that she only got one E+ and everything else was just plain excellent. She really is a good girl. She has her quirks (like she's unorganized I wonder where in the world she could have gotten that from) but she really is a good kid.

Tomorrow is our easiest weekday this summer I believe. We only have a swim lesson for M. The rest of the day is free. A couple of my plants in the garden have died and I might go buy a few replacements.

Oh, and I had a horrible feeling run today. I think it was because I did it without eating or drinking anything. It just didn't feel great. But I got home and I finally got my miles under the 13 minute mark. I told you I was slow. So they felt awful but I was faster.

Oh and my other good news was that I got on that scale of mine and I have almost lost 20 pounds now. I have one more pound to go. Now, that being said, I will probably gain 7 pounds tomorrow due to the potato chips I just ate. Oh well, I'll take it and not get on the scale for a week.

Positive Note- It's beautiful outside and the tree outside our house is covered in flowers. It's a beautiful sight.

Bees

Thankfully we are talking real bees still and not the birds and the bees. Today my friend motioned for me to get out of the car as we were driving home from swim lessons. She told me to come and see something and I followed. What did I get close to? A swarm of bees.

But that useless knowledge I have came to the rescue and I knew how to find a bee keeper to take care of it. The owner of the home with the bees wanted to know how in the world I knew such a thing. Of course I knew! I am terrified of bees and wasps.

I guess the bee keeper estimated there were 20,000 bees. YIKES! I'm scared of one single bee. I can't believe I was so close to so many.

On another note, I went and filled out the paperwork for D's summer program. He's really excited. I think this will really help his social skills. He gets a field trip every week if he can keep his behavior under control. I'm excited for him. I think it'll be good for T too. It will give him a chance to have a little time on his own just like D is getting his own time.

Tonight D and S helped me make dinner. I think they wished we were doing something other than meatloaf. They kept wanting to add more ingredients. It was okay. I actually really like meatloaf but there must be something that makes it taste how I remember. Maybe that's just what happens when you haven't made something for an entire *gasp* decade.

Tomorrow DH is staying home. I'm super excited. I am going to run in the morning. It should be beautiful. Maybe I can get a good run in.

Positive Note- S made a little progress today with telling the truth. She managed to tell me that she was angry at me when I held her when she had been throwing a fit instead of only screaming that it hurt. (Okay, she did scream at first but then I asked her if that was the truth and she told me no and came around to what was really bothering her.) I wasn't hurting her. I just wasn't letting her kick, slap, and bite me. I do think it's a big deal to get her to just say what she is really feeling. It gives me a little hope.

Quiet Time

It's quiet time at our house. When we let S give up her naps I started letting them watch a movie or show with pillows. I need the break and I think they need the down time too. There is no whining or begging during quiet time.

T had his kindergarten assessment today. He learned everything he needed to except how to hold really still. I guess I can't be too picky. We had to take another 'last day of school' picture because little miss C, the baby, took the memory card out of the computer and walked off with it. I'm still hopeful that I will find it. But, let's be honest, the kid has recently become very interested in the central vac system. It could be anywhere.

We had a very challenging weekend. Maybe it was bad so we can appreciate the little things more. Maybe it'll help me to remember to do those super good parenting things with all the reinforcing at the right times. S decided to hurt our dog on two occasions. I felt bad for Aggie and well, worried for S. Then, today, she kicked C very hard. Luckily, C isn't so fragile anymore. But it's discouraging to be back to a place I had hoped we had left. It's back to constant supervision because she can't be trusted yet. I'm working really hard on being 'real'. She'll say just about anything to either get you off her back or to get her way. I know, a ton of kids do this very thing. But it isn't normal when even just everyday activities have fakeness behind them. I told her it's okay if she feels frustrated, grumpy, angry, mad or happy. I told her she can even tell me that she is angry at me. I've told her she can say she is missing her birthmom or even angry at her. But I want the real kid, not the fake one. When she does her fake smiling I ask her if she is being real. "Is that how you really feel S?" And in the last few days when I ask her that she relaxes and ditches the fake smile. I don't think she feels jolly all of the time. I know I sure don't. I don't expect her to just adore me. In fact, if I were her I would be pretty ticked off at her birthfamily and us. But at 3 how can she put those feelings into words, even when she is a great talker. I think we will make great strides if I can get her to be real. At a minimum we will know more what to expect from her.

Every once in a while I think she really likes us and not just the fact that we give her food and have toys for her to play with. It's not often that it seems genuine but it does happen. And why should she? How does she really know we aren't going to ditch her? That survival instinct is just so strong.

D has been going through a rough patch as well. He's back to giving up really easily, even if it's just buckling his seatbelt. The hoarding has increased again. Today he had a tub of legos, a drawer from the art supplies, and a sand bucket filled with toys and treasures under the pillows on his bed. This may seem really normal except D isn't messy. He's a tidy kid. He knows the legos go in the closet, the art supplies in the art supply storage cart, and the sand bucket outside. He says his bins are too full. They are full. In fact, they are so full that T can't often put his bins where they belong because D's stuff is overflowing into T's space. But T only has the same amount of space for his treasures. The toys they both have access to are in the closet. Maybe this is just a two steps forward, one step back type of thing. He has been really wanting snuggles and has been inititating it. I think he is attaching. I just don't think he has full faith that he's going to be here. He has been throwing a few less fits lately as well. They are still a daily thing but it isn't six times a day right now. I think he is really trying. The other day I had to laugh. I was scolding T for I can't remember what (most likely teasing) and D kept piping up trying to tell me this and that about whatever T had been doing. Finally I said to D, "T is getting in trouble. Just let me finish punishing him. Let him get in trouble." I don't think he realized what was going on because he usually doesn't see that other people get in trouble or get disciplined. He only sees it when it's happening to him. It was an eye opener. When I told him that he decided he was more than happy to be quiet and let T get in trouble.

C is adding to her vocabulary. She added cracker this weekend and finally called me mama instead of maaaaaaaaaaaaaa. She has been such a daddy's girl. She stands at the top of our stairs and cries out daaaaad when DH is downstairs working on the basement. We need to buy a bench for the kitchen table becuase she no longer things she is too little for the real chairs and has stolen MY chair. She heads over to my spot and takes it before I get a chance to sit. She insisted on wearing her ballet shoes to church on Sunday. Luckily she had a pink shirt on. She adores them. And really, I don't care. I want her to have shoes on at church but I don't care which ones.

Okay, there isn't much quiet time left and my floor needs to be swept from lunch.

Positive Note- Everything is sooooo green right now. The mountain tops are covered in snow yet it is gorgeous at our house. I'm sure it'll be hot in a week or two so I am just going to enjoy it. Oh and postive note #2, I did manage to run last night. It wasn't pretty but it was done.

Race with M

This week has been so chaotic. But that isn't what I want to write about right now.

Today M and I did a 5k together. It was so much fun to have some time with just her and well, to have what looks like a reasonable excuse for being so slow. I'll admit, she was too fast for me in the beginning. I do the slow and steady thing and she goes out faster. So I let her cruise in front of me. Then when she was ready for a walking break she would walk until I caught up with her and then she would start running again. After about 2 miles her toe started hurting. She wore shoes that were smaller and she strikes really hard when she runs. I felt a little bad about the toe but well, I couldn't carry her back. I told her she could take her shoe off and she didn't want to. We finished and went to play at the park.

You know, when you go to the park with 5 kids and 4 are begging for pushes on the swings, it isn't that much fun. But today it was fun. I just pushed and pushed until M soared. It was great to WANT to do it.

M got the first and only place in the 8 and under division. She received a super medal for it. It is probably the nicest medal she has ever received. She has had it on all day.

After the awards they had a balloon release using the balloon arch from the beginning of the children's race. Each balloon said, "Live wElle." This race was a scholarship race in memory of a family's 15 month old that was killed. You can guess her name. I started tearing up and M had to point it out. "Why are you crying mom?" "Are you crying again?" I haven't had time for crying and I finally had a moment. I was so sad for that mom and her family. I was sad for her big sister that had a race number with messages to her little sister saying how they missed her so much. And I missed my boys. That little bit of grief finally found me when I was away from my everyday life. It felt good to miss them for a bit. By the time I got home I had an enormous headache and a Diet Coke in hand.

Now we are back to real life. The boys are back in my heart and my other kids are back in my arms (and hanging on my legs, tugging my hair, etc.).

Life may be hard, but it really is good.

Just a couple of things

I found a little tomato growing in my garden. Oh happy day! I have managed to kill a couple of other tomato plants as well as my beloved Armenian cuke. But oh well, I have a tomato.

Today I was talking to M about her swimming lesson. She said that she liked the backstroke but wasn't 'a fan of freestyle'. Where did she learn to talk like that?

D had a rough morning (four time outs by 8:30 am) but was quite charming for much of the rest of the day. He even came in and asked me if he could help.

S was having a rough day today. She obviously has whatever bug I have so I have to give her a little break. She did kick C today because C was by the television and she didn't like it. Sick or not, you can't be kicking a baby. I hope she feels better tomorrow so the happy S can come back out.

And C, she was a crankster. Just like T, S, and me, she is sick. Boy of boy does she not tolerate it well. She found T's old 'Itsy Bitsy Spiderman' and loves it.

We are hoping to be feeling better tomorrow.

Positive Note- It HAS to be that tomato, oh or maybe the asparagus that is popping up.

T-ball

I may have mentioned before that we aren't really team sports people. But with boys, we have to get over it, at least until we can get them into non-team sports.

Last night was tball practice. It was HILARIOUS. I'm sure it's the same for every single team and no shocker to people who have done the tball thing before. All of the kids are put into a position. T was put in as pitcher (you know, a VERY important roll when you are batting off a T). So, some kid hits the ball (or the t hard enough, it goes both ways) and all of the kids run after the ball. It doesn't matter that the ball is over by first base. Even third base is running for it. Then the batter just keeps running the bases and the kids throw the ball at the other bases, always after the kid has gotten there. Sometimes it doesn't even matter if there is a kid to catch the ball, they still throw it. Then there are the boys that are putting their mitts on each other's heads. Some boys are running and bouncing off each other. I guess girls talk in the outfield and the boys goof around.

Last night I had D laughing. I was showing him (not when he was being cranky) how many different types of fits I can throw. They thought the fits were funny. I asked if I looked ridiculous and they agreed I did. (I don't know if either of them knows what that means though.)

Positive Note- S got up at 5:30 this morning. Maybe she'll fall asleep during quiet time for a little rest.

Scrappy Kids

Have you ever seen those kids that show up to school looking like they just rolled out of bed?

Well, that would be an improvement over how T just went to school. He dressed himself and I let it go. He has his old Superman tee shirt on that has paint on it. It's his special shirt because he was on tv wearing it and the newsperson commented on him and made the camera man zoom in on him. That's a blue shirt. Then he wore black shorts with a red stripe. I tried to tell him it so didn't match but he said there was red and red. How do you explain to a five year old that the little bit of red on the logo and the small red stripe can define an outfit. So I just let him go to school. Oh and we ran out of time while talking about matching and I failed to do his hair.

Today was going to be super busy and things are looking up. The violin teacher called and asked to reschedule for manana. The kids really could use an extra day to practice so I wasn't going to argue. D's therapist's office called and said somehow our standing appointment wasn't booked and we didn't have an appointment for today after all. She wanted to reschedule for another time today or tomorrow. I told her it would be too hard as we have (or at least I thought at that time) violin lessons, swimming lessons, and t-ball practice today along with getting T to K this morning. Then tomorrow I told her we have kindergarten again, D's preschool, and ballet lessons (add in makeup violin lessons now). The schedule is just too tight to squeeze in a last minute appointment. So we aren't going until next week. I don't know if it's really helping him anyway so I am not heartbroken.

It's interesting how kids react differently when they are secure. Today I had D in time out. He wouldn't stop putting his feet all over S. Now that is just a pesty boy thing to do and I know it. It's no grand sin. But I asked him to stop and he continued. Then I told him to again and asked him if he thought it was a kind thing or a gross thing to do. He covers his eyes and pretty much ignores me. I ask him again, and he whispers, "Gross." I tell him to look me in the eyes and tell me and he just won't do it. Now this may not seem like a bad thing but it's a problem because in reality, he just still doesn't acknowledge when he does things that aren't right. This time he couldn't blame it on S but usually he would find a reason (you know, how with my niece it was her fault that he hurt her with the ping pong paddle, it's the chair's fault at church that he screams, etc.). So I ask him to look me in the eyes again or he can go hang out on his bed for a few minutes. He goes back there and starts playing with toys (which he knows isn't a time out thing) and is ticked off at me when I tell him to just sit there. After he has spent a few minutes I go back there to talk to him and he is so smiley and compliant. He looks me right in the eyes, gives me lots of smiles and sits with his hands tucked in his lap. Someone who didn't know him would think he was being the perfect little angel. But it wasn't sincere. And then I thought, "He has a bunch of toys in his lap." So I went over put my arm around him to give him a gentle snuggly squeeze and moved his arm ever so slightly to reveal the toys. He went right back to his regular mode of denying everything. It wasn't his fault he had the toys there. He knows exactly what he is doing. He was trying to pull one over on me. I hope he figures out it's not worth his energy and that in the end he'll be happier if he fesses up and quits being sneaky. He's not the only sneaky one in the family. T is plenty sneaky. But there is something about someone fessing up to something and really feeling sorry.

Okay, and with that I am done. There is always a bunch of work to do. I've actually gotten a bunch done today but, of course, there is always more to do.

Positive Note-Let's see... Today has gotten less busy. That is surely a positive.

I love hot water

Boy did I realize how water dependent I am. Yesterday as I was typing that post in the morning, C was getting into a new bottle of Ranch dressing that was opened during breakfast. Do you know how lovely your house smells when you have a ranch covered kid, a ranch covered table, and a ranch covered floor. EWWW! I did my best to clean her up but for some reason I had no water pressure either. Thank heavens for the plumbing man that saved the day for almost 900 dollars. It's not often you are so grateful to fork over a chunk of change like that. But I was loving him for it.

Last night I had a horrible run. The lesson learned is don't eat ground beef before trying to run and then go far from home. It doesn't work out well and you end up walking home with your head down.

I filled up my vehicle today. It was a huge chunk of change. Topher wondered why we were walking to school. Heck, I'm not paying to drive him to school. We are going to be walking everywhere we can. Maybe this oil thing will be good for my behind.

Today I am driving to ballet. My friend is really sick and I don't want to have M get sick before the wedding on Saturday, nor do I want my friend to have to go out. So I called the other mom and I am going to leave early and try to piggyback the trip with one to Costco. Now I am realizing that I don't actually have enough room to get the food home if I have every seat filled with kiddos. Hmmm... maybe I can go to Costco and then put the stuff in the two seats the girls occupy and then drop the food off to dh's work and put it in his car. UGH! What a pain. But I need to make it there.

What else? The boys had a good swimming lesson this morning. We had the talk on the way there about how T shouldn't be a wild boy in the pool and how that endangers other kids. Then, of course, I talked with D about how he can't constantly try to get his teachers attention. He agreed she needed to pay close attention to the kid she is working with or it's dangerous.
The talk didn't work. The lesson was a look at me lesson for certain. We'll try again. Maybe tonight, after reading 'You Are Special' we'll compare the stars to seeking attention at swimming. He does really love swimming though and it's nice to see he isn't terrified anymore.

The girls are fine. Last night M and DH were instant messaging each other while I was running. I came home and read the exchange and just laughed and laughed. Not only is M a good speller (which is NOT a sign of smarts) but she is pretty witty.

And lastly, we heard feet running in the hall this morning at 5:30. It was T sneaking Little Debbie treats. We don't usually buy treats much anymore because it really isn't great for the kids and that's all they ever want. But for family home evening DH picked them up. Yes, at 5:30 am, two little boys were sitting in the closet sneaking treats. DH and I just laughed and laughed. How dang funny is that. DH admitted that he probably would have done that at their age too. They didn't get breakfast though. In reality, they didn't really need it. They probably both ate about a thousand calories of snacks. I'm surprised they weren't sick. It's a funny memory. I'm just not letting them know it was funny.

Positive Note-It's GORGEOUS today and it didn't freeze my tomatoes last night. How lucky am I!

Mother's Day

I won't go into some long thing about how I dislike this holiday. This year, I got a fabulous gift. I mentioned to DH in the afternoon that I was tired and he said to go and take a nap. I slept for almost 3 full hours. Now that is a great gift!

On a sad note, part of our basement flooded. It seems that one of our two water heaters isn't functioning correctly. I told DH that we were lucky it happened before carpet and drywall. He asked why it had to happen at all. So today I am going to try to get a plumber here. Right now we have limited water pressure, nothing hot, piling up laundry and a sink full (okay both sinks full) of dishes. I may have to heat some water on the stove and get those puppies washed.

So to finish off Mother's Day, I read the kids 'You Are Special' by Max Lucado. I think for a little while I am going to try to read it every day. I'm hoping it will help D see that he doesn't need every action recognized to make it important and that he doesn't have to try to make others look bad to make himself look better. I figure it's worth a try and it never hurts to read an extra book or two.

I feel bad that I didn't post something to the kids' birthmom yesterday. I thought about what I could say all day long (okay, maybe not when the flood happened). I think I may be getting on there today to quickly send her belated Mother's Day wishes.

It's raining today but the boys can't stand letting the roller blades just sit. They are in the garage practicing. We'll be staying home hoping to get the plumbing done. Oh boy do I hope it works. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be really lucky and the rain will stop later today and I will have a great run tonight.

Oh, and I got a new church job. I'm mortified. More news on that next week.

Positive Note- I don't have to water my garden today.

Bargains scored!

I'm so thrilled at the moment. Today I went yard sale shopping with a friend. I bought a beautiful faucet for my downstairs' bathroom. It was new in the box. They wanted 25 bucks and I paid 20. The list price on it is $197 dollars. Can you believe anyone would pay that for a faucet? I'm more than thrilled.

I also bought M a desk for her new room, D some roller blades, T a magnetic board for his new room, M a coat, two 12 foot pieces of shelving for when we finish the closets (one dollar each!), and of course a 44 oz. Diet Coke. Don't feel bad for S. I bought her a shirt at Walmart tonight.

We went to my in laws to help plant flowers in their backyard. The kids had a good time. My SIL left out her kids' lunches and we found Sophia with a mouthful of previously munched on Wendy's. C was a turkey. As soon as we got there she sat down and took off her shoes and socks.

I ran some misc. errands tonight. I bought myself a Mother's Day present. Two new pairs of socks that wick. I'm glad to have those. My cotton ones weren't doing the trick so much. DH told me that he hadn't done anything for tomorrow and I told him not to worry. The kids have the things they have made and I would much rather have the dinero go to the basement. I don't need a bunch of gifts. I'm pretty low maintenance.

So I came home and didn't want to run. But I went out. It's too bad it was really late because I could have gone longer. Still, I got over a half hour in. I was happy enough with it. I'm always glad once I am out there.

Rainy day

I just did what I said I wouldn't do. I ran in my own 'hood'. I just couldn't help it. I told myself I would do better than Monday which meant I had to go around my block at the end of my run. Luckily, it was dark. It's harder to see the jiggling in the dark. I made it 1 hour and 3 minutes. It was a great night for jogging. It rained much of the day and everything smelled really delicious.

I was the washaholic today. I managed to get ALL of the wash done. I take that back. I may have a load now that the kids have gotten into pj's.

S just sneaked out. I can't figure out what she thought she was going to get away with. She just decided to come back out in the tv room two hours after bedtime. She is so exhausted.

I helped the boys clean their room today. It's no wonder they had a hard time finding socks. They were all under their bed with a ton of other things. Now I know they can't blame the girls for eating all the fruit snacks. Tomorrow I tackle the girls room.

And it's off to bed for me. It's not even 10 pm. What a treat!

Positive Note- T-ball was cancelled. I really wasn't in the mood. Gotta love that rain!

Hmmm... that dang circle of life

My grandpa is leaving the hospital. He doesn't know he is never going home. I'm so sad for him. He's going to a hospice type home to die. What's sad to me is that he is with it enough to figure it out. My mom said she went to see him at the hospital today and he got excited and asked her how her trip to Alaska went. Of course, I don't think that it's a great option to keep him alive on feeding tubes and respirators when his body is worn out. He has stage 3 kidney disease, heart failure, liver problems, and who knows what else.

I know it's the right thing to do but I'm still sad. Won't he figure it out when they fail to bring him his blood thinners and asthma meds. He's had them most of his life. Maybe his body will be so tired he won't care. I'm pretty comfy with death. It is a big part of my life. Still, I feel like it's a rotten secret at the moment. I would hate it if everyone else knew I was supposed to die in the next week or two but me.

And yet life goes on. We had a busy busy day once again. Then tonight I went to a class to get ideas on keeping my kids happy all summer. I just don't know when to find the time. Tomorrow we have the morning off, then D has therapy. We will cruise home with a cranky baby that couldn't take a nap because of therapy, grab the violins, go to violin lessons which end at 3:30, then rush over to M's swim lessons that start at 3:35. Then at 5:00 T has t-ball practice. I don't know how some parents do it. The swim lessons are more than we would normally do but the kids really NEED to learn to swim. But still, how did we get so busy?

I'm not sure what is going to happen if my grandpa dies right about the same time as dh's sister is getting married next weekend. UGH!

Oh, and I didn't run today. I wanted to but I just couldn't squeeze it in. That means I have to do 3 more days this week.

Positive Note- I almost got through my laundry today. I am sure by now there is a load to do but earlier I was down to less than a load.

Is it Friday yet?

Who's ready for a break? The week just has to be about over.

Really, today wasn't that bad. I ordered a dress to wear to my SIL's wedding. I did more laundry than I should admit to having. I actually folded and put away said laundry. I took the kids to the nursery and bought a bunch of plants for my garden including a gorgeous tomato plant with big tomatoes on it. Wouldn't you know I snapped the whole top off of it getting it out of the car. What a waste of 7 bucks. The kids and I planted the garden. C, the baby, LOVED plucking the plants out that we put in. She also wanted to play with dangerous garden equipment. D, T, and S were thrilled to help. As you can guess, all of the kids required showers tonight. I took M to swimming lessons. It's the coolest pool. This lady has a 3 lane 25 yard indoor lap pool in her backyard. M might be in over her head (literally) and have to move down a level. We'll see after Wednesday. Then I came home and made some homemade spaghetti sauce from some of the last tomatoes I have bottled and waited for DH.

Then came the exciting part. I managed to run for just over one hour. Okay, I had to stop for one minute because people in my town just can't manage to keep their dogs in yards or on leashes and I couldn't make it up this super steep switchback. But I already subtracted that out. I still made it over one whole hour and now I'm almost dead. But I feel great! (Talk to me tomorrow when I can't move from the 'running' and gardening.)

D did much better today with his emotions. He was very worked up over something T did but he managed to come to me and speak in a clear voice. I was really proud of him. S was a bit of a turkey. She went to bed late last night because we stayed at the in laws too long. That schedule is really important to her. She whined and complained for a long time last night and didn't go to bed for a couple of hours.

Tomorrow is a busy day as well. Of course, there is cleaning to do. Then D and T have swimming lessons, then D has preschool, T has kindergarten, we come home for about and hour and a half, pick D up, wait for kids to come home from school, drive the carpool to ballet, and then attend a church function.

I can't complain though because it's what I asked for.

Oh, one last cute thing. Today, someone was saying the blessing on our food at lunch. I looked over and C was folding her arms. It was adorable.

Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That

Today was a really random day. I was in charge of decorating T's teacher's door for teacher appreciation week. I spent much of the day working on it while trying to keep little paws off of it. It turned out pretty cute. There is a reason, however, that I was NOT and elementary teacher. I'm just no good at bulletin boards and cutesy things.

I felt like I needed to call my grandma today. It turned out to be a really sad call. She was home from the hospital. I guess my grandpa went in last night with congestive heart failure. It was bad enough that when he wanted to leave last night, the ER doctor told my grandma if he went home he would die overnight. She sounded so lost. She said she was looking everywhere for their will and couldn't find it. In my mind I think, he hasn't been himself for a while and my grandma has had a hard time taking care of him. But still, it would be so lonely after being together 50 years. I called my mom in Alaska to find out more details tonight and my mom told me that my grandma had been in the hospital (this according to my aunt) stroking his face pleading with him to not die. That just makes me so sad. I haven't decided what I am going to do yet. My mom said she thought they were going to try to get him stable, take him off his meds, give him meds to make him comfortable, and send him with hospice. Do I take the kids out of school and drive the five of them 11 hours each way myself? Do I let it go and say that the time spent with him while living is what is important? Out of all the little kids in the world, he picked T to adore. I don't know why T was so drawn to him. He was starting to get grouchy by the time T came around. Nevertheless, T would run right up to him. When my grandpa reached the point where he had no desire to get up, shower, and take care of himself, we would announce a visit and he would do it because T was coming. UGH, I hate making decisions.

I did a 40 minute run tonight. I would have gone longer but I was home and I had seen a big scary dog loose earlier in our neighborhood. It was a gorgeous night. I figured out my splits when I got home. I can't believe I can be that slow. I keep thinking the calculator has got to be wrong.

Tomorrow we have a race at the kids' school. It'll be D's first race. I hope he has the courage to be happy with his effort.

And with that, I am off. I need to make sure M's running clothes are washed.

Positive Note- NO SNOW today!