Yesterday wasn't horrible. I put on the soothing music all day and the kids weren't too bad. S worked on earning stuff back and she had a genuine happy look to her at the end of the day.
And then she screamed for attention in her room when she went to bed. She had been with me all day (which seemed like misery for her at first) and helped me work. And then when she finally got her way and could go and be away from me she screamed.
As expected, D had a huge meltdown. It always happens when S starts to be better. It's the social stuff. T and his friends just play a little old for him and then when he tries to start commanding them to do things they blow him off. After the meltdown was over and I got him to stop doing his self talk we talked about how maybe we could find him some friends that were more his 'age'. I couldn't do much of this before because until recently we had lying all the time and you can't go to others' houses when you are lying all the time. But he is doing less fabrication of stories and such now and so I think it's time. I arranged for him to play with a cute kid today for just an hour before school. This kid barely made the K deadline and is young for his grade. D is old. They might make a good match.
I felt like supermom yesterday. It's amazing how great you feel when you look to the right source for your needed super powers.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Plan
Yesterday got worse and worse. Didn't I say I expected it though. It's how it always is with the little one. She has 5 steps forward and then 4 back. Her behaviors continued yesterday. She didn't even hide them. I would turn my back and she would do them in my family room. I was trying not to make things miserable for her but still keep her under my eye. She tore up the books I gave her to read and peed 3 times without using the potty. And lastly she threw some huge tantrums in her room that could wake up the other kids. Pretty much she was telling me to go to you know where.
DH sent me off to the grocery store to pay for some dog food. (He bought 3 bags and then saw on his receipt that he had paid for two so he thought it was best that we got this taken care of immediately since dog food is so expensive. I think he knew I needed a break.)
Last night I didn't know exactly what I was going to do. DH and I talked and came up with some ideas. Then at 5:30 this morning I got up and headed for my knees. I presented my ideas to my Father in Heaven and hoped he would give me the thumbs up or thumbs down. I then parked my behind and read my scriptures for a while. I read in Mosiah 23:15 "Thus did Alma teach his people, that every man should love his neighbor as himself, that there should be no contention among them." I need to work on the contention aspect. So I am going to try to take out the contention. There are consequences and choices. But I need to try to eliminate adding to contention.
A little later I read in 24:14 "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."
With this comfort I started my day. I was pleasant to the little one. I told her she was going to have to earn her privileges back. She got ready for preschool and we left. On the way to preschool we talked about consequences and S said, "I don't get to choose the consequences but I get to choose what I do." (Can you tell we talk about this a bunch?) She was so pleased with herself because she is in charge of that. She smirked away as we drove there. Then, as we pulled into the parking lot (it's a very big parking lot) I asked her what the consequence was that I told her the day before before she continued to act out. She replied that it was no preschool today. Then we saw the school bus that was to take them on their field trip and drove out of the parking lot. It clicked pretty quickly. I hope it was a good lesson. I just couldn't reward that behavior. I called her teacher to tell her and told her how I really wished I could drop her off as my day would be so much easier but that I couldn't because she didn't earn it. It would also make the teachers look like them weren't in control because as we left yesterday one of them told her to not do it so she could go on the field trip. S wouldn't think they were in control of things at school if they looked like they were just saying things that didn't happen.
We are home. I am keeping things calm. I let her earn playing with the piano by lining up all the shoes that were in the hall. Then she started being mean with it and that had to be taken away. But I'm not letting it get to me. I can handle this. I have to.
On the other hand, D is doing great. That's a positive.
DH sent me off to the grocery store to pay for some dog food. (He bought 3 bags and then saw on his receipt that he had paid for two so he thought it was best that we got this taken care of immediately since dog food is so expensive. I think he knew I needed a break.)
Last night I didn't know exactly what I was going to do. DH and I talked and came up with some ideas. Then at 5:30 this morning I got up and headed for my knees. I presented my ideas to my Father in Heaven and hoped he would give me the thumbs up or thumbs down. I then parked my behind and read my scriptures for a while. I read in Mosiah 23:15 "Thus did Alma teach his people, that every man should love his neighbor as himself, that there should be no contention among them." I need to work on the contention aspect. So I am going to try to take out the contention. There are consequences and choices. But I need to try to eliminate adding to contention.
A little later I read in 24:14 "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."
With this comfort I started my day. I was pleasant to the little one. I told her she was going to have to earn her privileges back. She got ready for preschool and we left. On the way to preschool we talked about consequences and S said, "I don't get to choose the consequences but I get to choose what I do." (Can you tell we talk about this a bunch?) She was so pleased with herself because she is in charge of that. She smirked away as we drove there. Then, as we pulled into the parking lot (it's a very big parking lot) I asked her what the consequence was that I told her the day before before she continued to act out. She replied that it was no preschool today. Then we saw the school bus that was to take them on their field trip and drove out of the parking lot. It clicked pretty quickly. I hope it was a good lesson. I just couldn't reward that behavior. I called her teacher to tell her and told her how I really wished I could drop her off as my day would be so much easier but that I couldn't because she didn't earn it. It would also make the teachers look like them weren't in control because as we left yesterday one of them told her to not do it so she could go on the field trip. S wouldn't think they were in control of things at school if they looked like they were just saying things that didn't happen.
We are home. I am keeping things calm. I let her earn playing with the piano by lining up all the shoes that were in the hall. Then she started being mean with it and that had to be taken away. But I'm not letting it get to me. I can handle this. I have to.
On the other hand, D is doing great. That's a positive.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
In the last week I have begun to think that just maybe S is making some progress. She hasn't been plowing through her food without tasting it. I haven't caught her eating anything that wasn't a food. She has even started deciding she is done eating without finishing everything. That is HUGE! Her behaviors seemed to be improving some as well. There were still stronger and longer tantrums than four year olds usually have but they weren't was they used to be.
I got a little cocky. I think deep inside I was giving myself a little too much credit for it. And then this week she was caught doing her most difficult behavior two times. I'm trying to change the reaction and see if that helps because with her you always have to be one step ahead. Her door is coming off her room today. That might help.
I had C on my lap and said to her, "C, your mom is just average." (Can you tell I had given myself a little too much credit just to realize that we are all pretty much average at something?)
And C replied, "My mom not average. My mom is awesome!" (I don't know how she got the verb in one sentence and not in the other. And to top that off, I don't think she knows what average even means.)
She made me feel better that little turkey.
Oh and on the other little munchkins, they all had good reports for parent teacher conferences. D's classroom behaviors are improving again. There are less meltdowns and less crying fits. This is huge. I was so proud of him. It's a real struggle for him. T had his first report of all outstandings. His teacher asked if he is as good at home as he is at school. (The answer is a big fat NO!) He really likes to goof around so I know it's hard for him not to do it at school. Once again I was a happy mama. And M had the cutest letter. She wrote that she hoped her teacher would tell us she was always respectful. And of course her teacher said great things because she is a super kid. It was really nice to have three good visits with teachers.
Oh and as for C. She is just chatting it up. I will be said though when she starts saying yep instead of lep. She is really into some good foot stomping when she is angry. She likes two ponytails, not one. We went to buy her a new swimsuit yesterday because they were on sale (and did I mention the ground is all snowy again today) and she did not want the ones I was interested in. She wanted a blue polka dot one. Blue is her favorite color. I should not have been surprised.
I think I have decided against going to Alaska for a week this summer. My mom is taking M up to their lodge and I was going to go. But in reality, the plane ticket alone is about 800 dollars and there are so many other costs as well. I just don't think I can do it. Eventually, my mom would like our whole family to go but of course, take that 800 and multiply it by 7 and it because one pricey trip. So we are looking at taking a two week vacation and driving up through Calgary and over to Prince Rupert and then taking the ferry for a couple of days to their lodge. I think it might be a bit of a fun adventure and it would cut about between 2 and 3 thousand dollars off the cost. We might die after being in the car together that long though. :)
And lastly, I lost a measly .4 pounds this week. I was starving. Last week I was hungry all week and I lost .8. So for two very hungry weeks I lost less than five sticks of butter. Once again, my good friend said don't worry about it. You are not going to lose much of anything when you are under so much stress so you might as well enjoy life a bit. But that would be almost 30 pounds by next year if I just stay stressed and hungry. I keep telling myself that wouldn't be so bad. DH and I did really well with the refined sugars though. There was a tiny bit in the barbecue sauce on the chicken on Sunday when we were at my MIL's but that is pretty much it. And I think we have been gluten free now for two weeks. I probably need to cut the rice and corn products out but I just so don't want to.
I can't wait for it to warm up a bit. I had dh get some rebar and I am going to pound it into the ground so my beans, cukes and peas can grow up it. We'll see how it works. Right now they are 10 feet long. The beans are supposed to grow at least 6 feet tall and here everything seems to grow even bigger than it is supposed to. I'm not quite sure how I will pound in 10 foot long sticks. I guess I'll just take a ladder out there and see if i can get them in about two feet. I'm hoping a really great garden can help with our food costs this summer. And if not, there is always a nice lesson involved in gardening.
I got a little cocky. I think deep inside I was giving myself a little too much credit for it. And then this week she was caught doing her most difficult behavior two times. I'm trying to change the reaction and see if that helps because with her you always have to be one step ahead. Her door is coming off her room today. That might help.
I had C on my lap and said to her, "C, your mom is just average." (Can you tell I had given myself a little too much credit just to realize that we are all pretty much average at something?)
And C replied, "My mom not average. My mom is awesome!" (I don't know how she got the verb in one sentence and not in the other. And to top that off, I don't think she knows what average even means.)
She made me feel better that little turkey.
Oh and on the other little munchkins, they all had good reports for parent teacher conferences. D's classroom behaviors are improving again. There are less meltdowns and less crying fits. This is huge. I was so proud of him. It's a real struggle for him. T had his first report of all outstandings. His teacher asked if he is as good at home as he is at school. (The answer is a big fat NO!) He really likes to goof around so I know it's hard for him not to do it at school. Once again I was a happy mama. And M had the cutest letter. She wrote that she hoped her teacher would tell us she was always respectful. And of course her teacher said great things because she is a super kid. It was really nice to have three good visits with teachers.
Oh and as for C. She is just chatting it up. I will be said though when she starts saying yep instead of lep. She is really into some good foot stomping when she is angry. She likes two ponytails, not one. We went to buy her a new swimsuit yesterday because they were on sale (and did I mention the ground is all snowy again today) and she did not want the ones I was interested in. She wanted a blue polka dot one. Blue is her favorite color. I should not have been surprised.
I think I have decided against going to Alaska for a week this summer. My mom is taking M up to their lodge and I was going to go. But in reality, the plane ticket alone is about 800 dollars and there are so many other costs as well. I just don't think I can do it. Eventually, my mom would like our whole family to go but of course, take that 800 and multiply it by 7 and it because one pricey trip. So we are looking at taking a two week vacation and driving up through Calgary and over to Prince Rupert and then taking the ferry for a couple of days to their lodge. I think it might be a bit of a fun adventure and it would cut about between 2 and 3 thousand dollars off the cost. We might die after being in the car together that long though. :)
And lastly, I lost a measly .4 pounds this week. I was starving. Last week I was hungry all week and I lost .8. So for two very hungry weeks I lost less than five sticks of butter. Once again, my good friend said don't worry about it. You are not going to lose much of anything when you are under so much stress so you might as well enjoy life a bit. But that would be almost 30 pounds by next year if I just stay stressed and hungry. I keep telling myself that wouldn't be so bad. DH and I did really well with the refined sugars though. There was a tiny bit in the barbecue sauce on the chicken on Sunday when we were at my MIL's but that is pretty much it. And I think we have been gluten free now for two weeks. I probably need to cut the rice and corn products out but I just so don't want to.
I can't wait for it to warm up a bit. I had dh get some rebar and I am going to pound it into the ground so my beans, cukes and peas can grow up it. We'll see how it works. Right now they are 10 feet long. The beans are supposed to grow at least 6 feet tall and here everything seems to grow even bigger than it is supposed to. I'm not quite sure how I will pound in 10 foot long sticks. I guess I'll just take a ladder out there and see if i can get them in about two feet. I'm hoping a really great garden can help with our food costs this summer. And if not, there is always a nice lesson involved in gardening.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Just a few things
I haven't written in forever because, well, I have so much to write and can't manage to get it all in.
We just returned from Arizona. We went down to a Cubs game to celebrate Joshua's birthday. They lost but it was fun.
In the two full days that we were there we managed to visit two friends, two great grandmas and a great grandpa along with dh's aunt and uncle and one of his cousin's family. I went to several garage sales and found M some cute jeans that were obviously not worn a whole bunch due to the heat (or maybe the kid just grew, who knows?).
We went to buy flowers to take to the boys and some younger guy (I'm thinking young twenties) came in to buy a dozen roses. A minute later someone else comes into the flower shop to say that someone's blue car has rolled into a major road. I guess the kid forgot to put the car in park or something. This was not some little road. We are talking a 7 lane road. I can't believe it didn't cause a wreck. That was luck for certain.
M was shocked because I didn't turn into a blubbering idiot at the cemetery. I did that two nights earlier and was feeling a little done with the tears and the woe is me. I can only woe so much and well, my eyes were so puffy after the first time that I made a decision to just not do that again.
I reflected once again on how my Joshua gave me C. She would have ended up just like him and instead she is a little miracle due to major medical following. I give thanks forever to my Joshua for her.
We managed to do everything on M's list. She has a shaved ice place she loves, Soupersalad and Dunkin Donuts. She's funny about traditions.
T and C were both a little sick. I thought it was just their regular tummy problems but it turned out to be something more projectile. C got me good tonight after we got home. Luckily, I cleaned up easily in the shower and she didn't get my new carpet. It sounds dumb but I was thrilled. Doesn't it figure that we skipped visiting my SIL and BIL because they had a kid with the stomach flu and we still ended up with it.
D and S had a much much better trip this year. We didn't have major tantrums at every turn. I think they both enjoyed the trip much more as well. S's tantrums did return when we got home but that was expected as she got her way much of the time in AZ and I believe she thinks that it is her doing. But it was better and I am so grateful. It was good to have a strong memory to compare with.
I'm a little stressed over health issues in my family this week. My grandma has some scary wound on her leg. She has MRSA and things just don't heal like they would on most of us. Then, I talked with my mom tonight and found out that when she was at a friends house she got attacked by a dog and ended up in the ER for stitches. I'm hoping she will heal a little better than she normally does.
My mom then told me as we were driving home that she has a blurry spot in the center of her vision and she is going to go and see a doctor. Of course, I jumped right to macular degeneration and started worrying away. She thinks it's because her blood was way too thin (according to the docs to the you could just bleed internally and die point) and she thinks her eyes just have been bleeding inside. Either way, it isn't good. I would hate for her to lose her vision. I'm hoping she gets in ASAP. This did make me think that my answer to my mom about taking M to their lodge in Alaska will be a yes. I don't want her to miss that especially if she is going to lose much of her vision eventually. I may end up heading up there myself. (Don't expect me to bring home a bear or anything, maybe a whale picture or two.)
The good news is that I was a pretty dang good dieter this week and I had better lose at least a pound. It's not often you come home from 'vacation' without gaining weight and I will be thrilled if I'm down a bit.
Oh, and the orange blossoms smelled heavenly in AZ. Oh how I love that smell! It makes me have the sniffles but I still love it. I really do like AZ. I feel so comfy there. But it was nice to come home and see no graffiti. DH and I spotted at least 200 deer on the way home. I would miss that too. They were everywhere.
Oh, and I came home to daffodils. That's always exciting. My bamboo plant bit the dust but the daffodils outside did well. I'll take what I can get.
We just returned from Arizona. We went down to a Cubs game to celebrate Joshua's birthday. They lost but it was fun.
In the two full days that we were there we managed to visit two friends, two great grandmas and a great grandpa along with dh's aunt and uncle and one of his cousin's family. I went to several garage sales and found M some cute jeans that were obviously not worn a whole bunch due to the heat (or maybe the kid just grew, who knows?).
We went to buy flowers to take to the boys and some younger guy (I'm thinking young twenties) came in to buy a dozen roses. A minute later someone else comes into the flower shop to say that someone's blue car has rolled into a major road. I guess the kid forgot to put the car in park or something. This was not some little road. We are talking a 7 lane road. I can't believe it didn't cause a wreck. That was luck for certain.
M was shocked because I didn't turn into a blubbering idiot at the cemetery. I did that two nights earlier and was feeling a little done with the tears and the woe is me. I can only woe so much and well, my eyes were so puffy after the first time that I made a decision to just not do that again.
I reflected once again on how my Joshua gave me C. She would have ended up just like him and instead she is a little miracle due to major medical following. I give thanks forever to my Joshua for her.
We managed to do everything on M's list. She has a shaved ice place she loves, Soupersalad and Dunkin Donuts. She's funny about traditions.
T and C were both a little sick. I thought it was just their regular tummy problems but it turned out to be something more projectile. C got me good tonight after we got home. Luckily, I cleaned up easily in the shower and she didn't get my new carpet. It sounds dumb but I was thrilled. Doesn't it figure that we skipped visiting my SIL and BIL because they had a kid with the stomach flu and we still ended up with it.
D and S had a much much better trip this year. We didn't have major tantrums at every turn. I think they both enjoyed the trip much more as well. S's tantrums did return when we got home but that was expected as she got her way much of the time in AZ and I believe she thinks that it is her doing. But it was better and I am so grateful. It was good to have a strong memory to compare with.
I'm a little stressed over health issues in my family this week. My grandma has some scary wound on her leg. She has MRSA and things just don't heal like they would on most of us. Then, I talked with my mom tonight and found out that when she was at a friends house she got attacked by a dog and ended up in the ER for stitches. I'm hoping she will heal a little better than she normally does.
My mom then told me as we were driving home that she has a blurry spot in the center of her vision and she is going to go and see a doctor. Of course, I jumped right to macular degeneration and started worrying away. She thinks it's because her blood was way too thin (according to the docs to the you could just bleed internally and die point) and she thinks her eyes just have been bleeding inside. Either way, it isn't good. I would hate for her to lose her vision. I'm hoping she gets in ASAP. This did make me think that my answer to my mom about taking M to their lodge in Alaska will be a yes. I don't want her to miss that especially if she is going to lose much of her vision eventually. I may end up heading up there myself. (Don't expect me to bring home a bear or anything, maybe a whale picture or two.)
The good news is that I was a pretty dang good dieter this week and I had better lose at least a pound. It's not often you come home from 'vacation' without gaining weight and I will be thrilled if I'm down a bit.
Oh, and the orange blossoms smelled heavenly in AZ. Oh how I love that smell! It makes me have the sniffles but I still love it. I really do like AZ. I feel so comfy there. But it was nice to come home and see no graffiti. DH and I spotted at least 200 deer on the way home. I would miss that too. They were everywhere.
Oh, and I came home to daffodils. That's always exciting. My bamboo plant bit the dust but the daffodils outside did well. I'll take what I can get.
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