Funny Little C

Last night we were driving home from Granny's. On Sundays we don't watch regular television or movies in our family. Needless to say, the kids just about DIE going the hour to Granny's house because there is only so much that can go in the DVD player in the Jeep. We have a video of children's songs being signed. It's really a thing to help people learn to sign the kids songs. The kids get so desperate that they are willing to watch that and sing along. I look back and C is moving her hands in the funniest ways. She was trying to sign the songs. It was just adorable.

Then this morning I wanted her to come and give me a kiss on the cheek. I made kissing sounds and tapped my cheek. She walked over, made kissing sounds, smiled, and tapped my cheek.

Gotta love that kid!!!

On a bad note, we were taking back dh's parents' trailer last night. We had used it to haul away building materials and to get compost for our garden (much needed this year as food has gotten more and more expensive and I need to garden a bunch this year). DH thinks he didn't get something in tightly enough and about 35 minutes into our drive part of the tailgate came off and was dragging on the freeway. Sparks were everywhere. The tailgate is ruined and we are hoping we can just buy dh's parents a new one. If not, it'll be a new trailer and that will be pricey. We're just in that everything is breaking mode. But I can't complain too much because so many things have gone better. We don't need a big television right now, nor do we really need a DVD player in our house, and I found a new shredder at a garage sale (maybe I already mentioned that), so I can't whine too much about it.

And of course....

positive note- we stayed safe on the freeway when we could have caused an accident. That's something money can't buy.

Added to yesterday

I thought we made it through a day without C throwing up. I was wrong. It happened once again last night. I called the doc's office today and they told me that sometimes when kids have really bad ear infections it throws off their equilibrium and they end up vomiting. I'm hoping that tomorrow is throw up free. Three nights in a row is plenty.

I found out that T tried using his 'bad finger' to his teacher yesterday. He very remorsefully apologized today.

S was dry once again today. I'll take it while it lasts. As soon as she decides to be unpotty trained it will switch back but for now I'll enjoy it. She did have some rougher moments today but in reality they were pretty toddlerish. I can't get too frustrated with those.

I'm working on figuring out a miracle whinaway method. I ended up taking some of D's big boy toys away today because he wouldn't stop acting like a two year old. He earned some of them back by not throwing tantrums that are more fitting to a two year old. I feel like we have to get this worked on because he turns to whining when he doesn't get his way. I'm worried those other kids are just going to eat him up next year if he does that in school. Sometimes it starts even if someone reaches for a crayon that he was thinking of using. He really can be a sweet kid and I would have for him to not have friends next year because kids won't give him a chance.

It wasn't a bad day (well, except for having to clean throw up off a crib once again). I'm hoping for a good day manana. I did manage to get 3 of them down for naps this afternoon (okay, so I bribed them with letting them have some of their Easter candy) and I was able to get on my treadmill for a whopping 47 minutes. No, I didn't spend much of that time running but I ran longer than the day before and longer than the one before that. I'm trying to add on 30 seconds each day. I want to be able to do the 5k at the end of May.

And off to bed I go. Those kids will be up early I am certain.

Oh, what you learn in kindergarten!

I took M and a friend to get ice cream tonight. It was fun to see how they are growing up. Her friend does much of the talking and M just does the giggling.

I came home to find T in his bed already. Apparently, he learned how to flip someone off at school. DH said that he had a hard time even managing to get the right finger up. I guess DH inquired about the meaning thinking maybe he didn't know what he was doing and he said that it was his 'bad finger' and that so and so at school had done it and the teacher had said not to use the bad finger.

I have to admit I am glad I wasn't home. I think I would have had a hard time not laughing at him trying to get only one finger up.

On another note, it was a better day for S once again. She is on quite a roll. She was in time out for short durations quite often today but it was for little things like screaming and running in the house.

And, drum roll, she has really started mastering subject pronoun agreement. I have been telling her, "I love you because you are you." She had gotten into this habit of telling me, "I love you mom when you buy me new shoes. I love you when you cut up my sandwich." etc. You get the picture. She now says, "Mom, you love me because I am me." That works much more for me.

Oh and on a positive note once again, little C didn't throw up at all today. It sure beats yesterday. :)

Teeth

Today was a pretty great day. I told a friend this afternoon that I was going to make sure I blogged about my 'great' day because there are only so many. What's funny is that I am still thinking it's a pretty great day after getting cleaned up from having C, the baby, throw up all over me.

It started with C waking up after getting sick in the night. It didn't seem like a great way to start the day. DH, of course, was totally grossed out and disappeared shortly after he realized what had happened.

Then this morning T lost his first 'real' tooth. He had an extra tooth pulled when he was two but I don't really count that as his first real lost tooth. He just wiggled it a bunch and it fell out. He was thrilled. The funny thing is that I had finally scheduled M to go and have a tooth pulled that has been loose for almost nine months that has turned orange because it was dead. The new tooth has been in forever and the old tooth just wouldn't come out. Our tradition with lost teeth is that you get to choose a place to go out to dinner. I have been begging M to bite on that tooth so I wouldn't have to cook for a night. She had picked Fazolis as her place months ago. And then what happened? Baby brother came by and had to lose his tooth that didn't even seem as loose before her. He picked that mouse house pizza place. We ended up with dad's great idea of eating at Fazolis (that just does NOT look right and I am too lazy to open a new window and look it up) and going to the mouse place after for games. The kids had a blast.

S had a pretty good day. She lost some privileges today for not behaving but in reality, she was pretty good. I think she will be even better next time because she was really bummed to lose out on sidewalk chalk time. She was also DRY all day and last night.

D had his moments today. I think he really is threatened by S not being the bad kid any more. He likes to be the good kid. I am trying to make him realize that we have room for 5 good kids in this house.

Oh, I also dig scrapped two more layouts from Easter. It really isn't quite as great as the real stuff. There is just something about doing it with your hands. But, really, when do I have time to even get my stuff out, let alone do it. I am trying for a layout a day right now. It's so easy and I did it today while watching the kids out the front window.

Oh and my hyacinth are smelling sooooo yummy. They are just heavenly flowers. It's too dang bad that I am so scared of the bees that love them as well.

Another great thing today was that T really surprised us at violin. We have missed lessons for the past two weeks because we have had sickies. The kid hasn't practiced at all. Boy did he show us what he was capable of. He played so well today. At violin though, C took M's 'tooth necklace' (little molar looking thing that holds the tooth from the dentist's) and lost her tooth. We looked everywhere. I'm now wondering if she ate it. EWWWW! I wouldn't put it past her little pinchers.

It was a great day, throw up and all. I am hoping, though, that all that throwing up is done and that it doesn't spread.

A little ray of sunshine

And if you can believe it the little ray was from little Miss S!

Something happened over the last few days and she has become manageable. I almost hate to say it for fear that things will change. It has just been so much more fun to be a parent with these little changes.

It could be us. We changed some things that were driving us crazy, things like her sitting next to the baby in the car. She has been pretty sweet and civilized since we moved her. DH and I were talking and we decided that maybe we can handle the normal toddler stuff because we have removed so many of the things that were driving us crazy. I don't know about that. She really does seem better.

I have to admit that it came at a price. Several days ago I told all of the kids they had to have their beds made before they could come out of their rooms. All but D grumbled a bit. But S, she just wouldn't even try. Now, before you think I am a miserable person I have to say that I don't expect perfect bed making. In fact, if a 3 year old can get things a little bit straightened out and the pillow on the bed then I count it. She has 'made' her bed a bunch of times and I know she can do it. I also know that she is always really proud of herself when she does it. Well, that day, my little S decided that she would rather not come out for the whole day. She played in her room and slept. She went in there at 4:30 (rather late for bedmaking, I know) and didn't come out except to go to the bathroom and try to get out of making her bed until the next morning. Then, the next morning she asked to have breakfast and I told her to make her bed. She did it in two minutes.

Fast forward to the next day. She played in her room for almost 3 hours because she wouldn't make her bed. (I don't care if she plays in there.) She didn't scream or anything. She just wouldn't do what I asked her. She finally made it in about one minute.

The next morning I asked all of the kids to make her bed and she was the first one done. AMAZING!

And today, she made it without being asked.

Now, this really isn't about bed making. I don't really care about beds. But she changed on me. She finally decided she wants to do what will make her happy. Even when she has had timeouts I have said, "Do you want to be happy or sad?" and she has gone in and done her 3 minutes quietly for the most part and then has gone about having a great day. We have had very few screaming matches.

She keeps telling me she loves me and although some of it is hogwash to get a drink or something I think that she is occasionally meaning it. The other nice thing is that her change in behavior is making it easier for me to give her the physical touch (hugs and kisses) she needs to make a real attachment. I can snuggle up to her and giggle with her and not feel strained.

Now D, he has picked up where she left off and is struggling again. But he still isn't as difficult when he is struggling.

What else? My basement is coming along. We took a bunch of extra wood to the dump today. I need to call and have an inspection scheduled. I can't wait for M and T to have their own rooms.

What other great things are going on. Easter is tomorrow and the kids are all very excited. D said that the Easter Bunny never visited them. He keeps wondering if the bunny is small or big. T thinks he is big because he hides them in places that are so high. I told them the bunny could be small and just a really good jumper. And M, she swears that she heard the bunny multiple times last year.

The baby is getting better. I still can't believe that she had a sinus infection and a double ear infection. No wonder she was so dang miserable in Arizona.

Life is getting better. I'm optimistic for the future. This is the most optimism I have felt in several months.

Joshua's Day

Today was my little Joshua's 'angelversary'. We make the trip to Arizona to clean up his grave just like we do for Niko's day. Today was the strangest angelversary I have every, um, celebrated. I did not cry.

I always cry, at least a little. Today I didn't. There was too much of everyday life to deal with to fit in a few tears.

We let the kids play outside this morning. It was a gorgeous day in Arizona. D was having a rough time for some reason. I started taking pictures of the tantrums in case he would leave them behind once they were in a picture. It didn't work but I did get enough different faces to make a scrapbook page.

We went to a Cubs game. It's a tradition since our boys are buried right next to where the Cubs play for spring training. We didn't stay for the entire thing. The baby, C, was wiggly and D started screaming (literally) and throwing a fit saying he was bored. As soon as the snow cone was finished he started having a hard time. It was the third set of fits in the day and I realized that maybe he was having a hard time because he doesn't have control of his environment when we are on vacation. M was being a tease at the game which got D going even more. I wish she would stop that. T had a pretty good time. He, of course, likes the snowcones, but he seems to like the game a bit more too. And S, well, she spent some time throwing fits and some time petting some guys leg that was next to us. We tried to put a stop to that as quickly as we could.

We then went to a flower store (our flower store, we always go to the same one) and I ended up talking to the lady there. She was extra nice to D because he was pouting (over a consequence form the game). I think in the end it was good that he pouted a bit or I might not have talked to her for a bit longer. I found out some interesting news from her that might come in handy for someone I know. And that's all I can say about that right now. If things turned out it would make a rather crappy day very purposeful and wonderful.

We went over to the cemetery. C really seemed to like it. She did trip on a flat headstone that wasn't flat enough. Oops! S kept trying to steal things off of graves. She spent so much of her time pouting that she isn't really in the pictures I took of the kids there. Nevertheless, I wasn't going to let that spoil my cemetery time. I just love that place. It's so calm and peaceful. And the kids usually seem so happy there. The kids saved a big sunflower out of one of the bouquets for Joshua. Then they did my favorite thing and ran from one section through a few more to Niko's. I took a picture but it was blurry as I was running too. Someone had put flowers in Niko's flower holder. I'm not so sure who did it but they look new. That was really nice. I have no clue who would do that for Niko and not Joshua. Maybe it was one of the 'neighbors' being nice. It's a treat one way or the other to see new flower there. S ended up getting buckled in the car early. She wouldn't stop stealing things from other graves and licking headstones. I can handle touching other people's pinwheels, wishing you had a toy on a headstone, but licking one, not so much.

We went to visit a friend tonight. The kids had a great time there. It was a nice break from the day. DH and I tried our hands at golf on the Wii. What fun that is! I'm sure I could get used to having one. I wonder if Wii housework would be more fun than the real kind.

And now the kids are in bed. The baby is still sick. She is coughing up a storm tonight. T wasn't able to breath tonight. Hopefully his puffer is enough. The air is really bad in Phoenix right now. And me, I miss my little babe. I miss both of them. If Joshua had survived things would be so very different. We would not have D and S and in reality, we most likely wouldn't have the baby either. It was only because of him that we caught her problems in utero.

It's crazy because I can't really imagine my chaos filled life with him in it right now. Yet, I can't remember my life without him either. He was my chunky monkey baby, a total linebacker type of babe. I remember T not really knowing what was going on. He just held his baby brother and was so proud to finally be the big brother we had been talking about him becoming. M was more confused. She knew things were wrong. It was a hard time with her. I hope life turns out well for M and T. They have had some hard times between life after Joshua, life right before C (and then after because she was such a screamer), and well, with this latest addition of new kids and new challenges. I hope they are up for the task.

Okay, so a few tears have now fallen. It's time to go and down them with a Diet Coke. I guess it's not that the tears were not there. There was just too much in the way to allow for the time to remember. Maybe in 17 years when all the kids are out of the house and there is time to remember I'll have one really crazy angelversary year because I will finally have the time to sit back, reflect, and remember.

I have not forgotten. I think things are just tucked back in a very super safe place right now. Too much of life is getting nicked and bruised right now and I can't afford for my special memories to be tarnished. I'm just going to leave them in their safe place until it's safe to bring them out.

oops

No this isn't one of those I did it again things. Today I dropped everyone off at this location and that one and headed over to the elementary school to work in T's class. Because we have had sickies at home I headed right for the sink and washed my hands. T's teacher gave me a perplexed look. I was feeling pretty great because I managed to make it in AND one of the kindergartners said, "It's T's mom. I like her. She's always funny." Imagine my surprise when T's teacher asked me if I had switched days. Hmmm... nope, I work the first and third Tuesday. Then she informed me it was the second Tuesday. Good job mom.

S was really quite easy today. She had a cough last night and this morning. I couldn't believe how easy she was. It turns out she started running a fever. It was my easiest day on the job yet. I do feel bad for her though. She is back in her room moaning and groaning as she tries to sleep. It's a nasty cold this one.

Last night I let C scream it out. She is 15 months tomorrow and I figured it was time. I listened for over 90 minutes. I kept thinking maybe she threw up, or maybe she had a messy diaper, or who knows what else. I was so relieved when she went to sleep. I felt horrible this morning when I went in to get her and her light was on. I swear I turned it off but either I need to learn to swear better or someone else got up and did it in the night. I betting it was me.

Speaking of C, let me mention the shiner I am expecting tomorrow morning. She hit her brow bone on the corner of our bed. It swelled up immediately. I haven't ever heard her scream like that. She couldn't even let the scream out at first. The poor thing. Of course I over worried and asked DH if we needed to take her in. But she quickly turned into herself and we decided against it.

We gave up on the potty battle with S. First thing in the morning I let her choose if she wanted to try wearing a pull up. As soon as she wets it I get a diaper and then she gets to nap when C, the baby, naps. I figure she gets the choice and I get less peeing on my floor. I am having to duct tape the straps together though. Oh well, I have yet to clean up a wet floor or carpet since starting this. I think it makes both of us like each other more.

Oh, and a funny thing needs to be mentioned. The time out paint can has become popular with the boys. I send D in there to cool off when he flies off the handle. T asked if he could chose to go in there too. They sat in there and giggled and giggled away tonight. I may have to find a new 'scary' place for the time out can.

And off I go. It's past my pumpkin hour. (That's what I call it when I need to go to sleep.)

San Francisco

DH and I took a trip to San Francisco last weekend. His mother had given us two nights of watching kids and a gift certificate for an inn an hour away for our birthdays. I told her the babysitting was more than enough. DH decided that we would go to the inn for one night and then we cashed in a gazillion air miles and hotel miles and went to California for about 30 hours.

It was fabulous! I couldn't believe what a stress reliever it was. Maybe it was being away from the kids. Maybe it was just walking all day.

I have to start this out by saying I detest flying. Every bump terrifies me. Flying out it was pretty bumpy and I was getting sweaty palms. What I can't figure out is why I wasn't totally terrified of the shuttle driver. He didn't seem to speak any English and drove 80 mph on the freeway. He cut off more people than I care to count. That was really a danger yet I wasn't terrified. Why is that?

We didn't have much time so we set out immediately after getting to the hotel. We wandered around here and there and then went to Chinatown. I am such a sucker for places like that. I still can't understand the need to go in all the shops when most of them seem to be owned by the same people and carry the same goods. We were starving and decided to do the dim sum thing at a restaurant off the main drag. That wasn't a good idea. We had no idea what to do or how it worked. An although we were in the middle of an American city it seemed like nobody spoke English. We finally figured out what you do. I told dh the next thing that came our way we were going to try. What did I learn? I like Americanized Chinese food. DH told me I could have whatever I wanted if I tried the 'barbecue' chicken. I did. It was too gingery for me. It just wasn't my cup of tea. I ended up getting C an additional outfit as my prize. Then we couldn't figure out how to pay. It seemed like the people you pay just wouldn't look at us. I think it was probably a good lesson to feel like we were in the minority. We were the only non Asians in the restaurant. When leaving we saw another couple like us waiting to be seated. I almost wanted to warn them but then thought about how funny it is to make those memories.

There were a few other funny things in that city. DH and I saw 3 single shoes. Two were in streets and one was a little kids shoe stuck in the bottom of an escalator. How does an adult just lose a shoe in the street and continue walking? That is so bizarre to me.

We also thought it was pretty interesting what people will do for money. Of course there were people playing 'drums' using things you find in your kitchen. They were usually pretty good. There was one guy down by the coast that had a couple of tree limbs he was holding. He would jump out from behind them and scare people. The guy had quite a crowd and when he would actually scare someone he would get tips.

After our icky experience in Chinatown we decided to just take to the city for snacks. We would walk and then find something good to try. I had been off sugar for 3 weeks but decided to break my streak for what will most likely be my only chance to go to that city. We walked to Pier 39 and had mini fresh donuts. We walked some more and then up to Ghiradelli Square and shared some ice cream. We walked back to the hotel and had room service.

Then we had to go home. DH surprised me and got us first class tickets. Wow! I haven't ever travelled first class. DH does more frequently for work. It's pretty sweet up there. Oh and the timing was perfect because I finished New Moon just as we landed. Not only did I get to go to another town on 'vacation' but I was able to finish a book I have wanted to read.

We picked up the kids and MIL told us a little about what they were up to. T was sick with a fever. Apparently he wasn't sick the entire time though and he was about to beat S up trying to defend D. S let a little bit of herself show for MIL. She ate a crayon, peed on the floor, pushed C, threw fits, etc. This of course was after destroying a ton of things in the room she shares with M on Friday (she didn't only eat and smear lipgloss and M's treats everywhere but she also found a thing of diaper ointment and ruined everything she could and then ate what was left.) MIL looked tired and happy for them to come home.

We took S to therapy yesterday. They changed our therapist and moved her to a supervisor. He seems right on and knows exactly how she is already. He gave me a little hope. I need it. She's had a hard morning. DH told her she couldn't have her favorite cereal until she went on the potty and she wouldn't . She pulls every excuse in the book. Today it was that she couldn't get her jammies unzipped. I told her to go to the bathroom and the unzipped her jammies without issue and peed all down my hall. It's all a power struggle. MIL told me that she does great if you take her to the bathroom and give her the attention she wants. I didn't say that we have tried that and she'll go 20-30 times a day. We've been told to not let her manipulated her like that. We need to give her the attention she needs but not when she's manipulative. She's having a hard time. Luckily, I expected it to be a little bit harder for a few days because they were off their schedules the two days we were gone.

We had a supervised visit yesterday with the social worker and she said she could see this coming before we even went to pick the kids up. She asked if we were ready to throw in the towel yet. We said no. There's a fight to fight and we have to keep at it. It wouldn't be any better for these little ones to have a failed placement and be shifted to another home.

Positive Note-I've got to think a bit here... Oh this one is easy. We have my dad here and he is wiring our basement. We are on our way to having more space.