So I believe I mentioned that M wanted to do the first ever little miss pageant in our town. I wasn't too keen on her doing it just because that isn't really our thing. We are practical every day people and not the pageant type. Some of our best friends, however, are delightful pageant people. My good friend is one of the premier pageant people in our state. She is amazing. Her kids are natural pageant kids. Not only are they gorgeous, they are also super confident and have been working on developing talents.
We have this pageant and on the last day of sign ups M decides she wants to do it. I go down and pay the fee and kind of forget about it. I take M to a couple of workshops and she has a bunch of fun. I found her a talent dress on super clearance at Dillards and we cut her violin piece down to the required time. That was the extent of our preparation. To me, the talent portion is the most important part because it requires years of work and I saw no need more M to practice more than she already does. Not many kids her age practice for an hour or more a day on an instrument.
The night before the pageant M decides she is wearing her old Easter dress (from TWO years ago). (See previous blog!) I still wanted her to wear her sparkly dress that actually fit when we left. I took her down for her interview and realized we forgot her violin of all things. What kind of mom forgets the instrument? That's right, a mom who just isn't good at the pageant thing. When we arrived I knew this wasn't going to be our thing. I wanted M to still be a kid. For heavens sakes, she hasn't even lost all of her teeth yet. I didn't want her fake eyelashes on her or heavy makeup. For dance, it is one thing. It's a costume. To me she was representing herself and I didn't want her playing the part of someone else. We put a little makeup on her and she did her thing. I had asked her on the way there if she would be bummed if she didn't win. She looked at me incredulously and told me she didn't want to win. "I don't want to ride on a float mom." That's my kid. We aren't attention seekers by nature and this pageant wasn't changing anything for my kiddo.
All the girls did their little intro dance and I could see her counting it out. She doesn't do that for classical ballet but when she is out of her element she is a counter. Still, I thought she looked so cute and so, well, her age. A lot of the girls had really high heels on and fancy shmancy this and that but no my girl. the poor kid probably did need new shoes as hers were hand me downs and too small. But she didn't complain. They had a little one inch heel. I could tell she liked the glamorous shoes but she didn't complain one bit.
The talent portion came and I only watched a few. I saw the rest the night before. She was great. I know I am her mom and all, but really if you ask any of my friends, they will tell you I am usually quite unbiased. But my M was really good. She had one of the strongest talents there. But once again, it wasn't flashy and there wasn't a real music type of judge.
She went back and changed into her 'partywear' and didn't change her mind. Just about every kid had on super fancy clothes. My M didn't let that change her mind. She just wanted to be herself. She had to be escorted out by a 16 year old boy and you could tell she didn't quite know what to do about that. Then she stood there for just a minute like a small girl before she gained her composure. It was perfect. DH was so glad she did this. He said he didn't want to see her come out and strut across the stage. She came out and was herself. She looked lovely and young. She was modest and classy without being overly glamorous. I decided she made the right choice in dresses.
When it came time to announce the winners I thought she might have a chance at being in the royalty or whatever it is called. Her talent was so strong. The winners were announced and it came down to the winner and she and her best friend were left. I knew her best friend would win because she was fabulous at the pageant thing. She was well prepared, had the look, the walk, and the confidence. I watched M to see how she would handle it. I was worried she might be sad.
Instead of being sad when they didn't read her name, she got the most ginormous smile. She was so incredibly thrilled for her best buddy. It's like it didn't cross her mind that she didn't win. I told DH that had M placed, I might not have gotten a chance to see such a genuine reaction. It was the best gift of the pageant for me.
I left feeling like I had the most awesome kid in the world. She might be a little stinker occasionally, but I know she is well grounded. I don't think I need to worry nearly as much that she will be a follower as she hits her teenage years. She's just a genuine and selfless kid. In the script there was a part thanking the parents telling them this is a pay day moment to see their kids on stage. The pay day moment for me came at the very end.
I think we are doing something right. It's such hard work raising these kids. M's not terribly difficult, but overall, just about every day is a struggle. We work so hard to instill good values and to teach them that when they do what is right, they can feel happy inside. My baby M, who is not so much of a baby anymore, showed me it's working. She did her best, made good choices, and felt great.
I asked her on the way home if she was done with the pageant thing. (I was sort of hoping not winning would do that to her.) No way! She said it was so fun and she wanted to do it again. UGH!
I love that kid.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Almost another month
Things have changed in the last month. The major change is that the kids are out of school. This makes a HUGE difference. I think they like it for the most part. They aren't thrilled with the extra chore everyday. They also would most likely find less than loving words about their mom schoolwork. But heck kids, this is my chance to help mold you more.
It finally stopped snowing here. I'm so glad. Seeing fresh snow at the end of May was CRAZY. One ski resort is saying it will be open for July 4th. My garden is most likely going to be less than stellar due to the cold weather. But we'll live :)
My dad is visiting right now. My cousin died in a small plane crash last week. My father came up for the funeral. Actually, he didn't go to the funeral. He went to the viewing and the grave services. It was a crazy thing as my father's family isn't super close. None of my father's siblings except his brother (my cousin's dad) were at the funeral. I guess some of them went to the viewing the night before. So my family goes and instead of sitting with the family like we usually do at funerals, we sit at the back, near the back row of a very huge service. I look to my left and I think, "I swear that lady is my cousin." I didn't have the guts to say, "Hey, are you my cousin?" So instead I wondered for the whole funeral. Then, I looked her up on facebook. I was right. I guess she must have felt a little uncomfortable too. It's unfortunate because I remember good times with my cousin as a kid. He was born less than two months after me and was my closest cousin on my dad's side. It was horribly sad watching his wife take his three small children to the casket to say goodbye at the grave.
So it go me to thinking a bit. I'm so not ever going to trust statistics. How many people have their family member killed in a plane crash? (Okay... so maybe more than you think...) How many people have had someone try to kidnap them (that was me... but it's a story for another day)? How many people have lived a couple of streets away from and have known an 11 year old kid who was kidnapped and never returned? How many people have two babies that are stillborn from different things? How many people have a great friend who survived an amniotic fluid embolism (this may be the rarest of things)? And the list goes on.... It's why I never believe people when they say things can't happen or won't most likely happen. I'm wondering if I am more aware of this just because I am a bit of a control freak by nature.... No missy, you are really NOT in control.
Next week is super busy. DH originally took the week off work so I could be somewhere with Miss M. And then he found out that court time (not for him... more as a witness) trumped vacation. So I have been busy finding sitters for the times I need.
T had a swim meet today. It wasn't his finest. I don't care if it's June. It's still cold when it's 50 something degrees outside. He was about to shiver out of his jammers while up on the blocks.
M is in a pageant this weekend. It's killing me. I don't want to be a pageant mom. I didn't really buy a bunch of stuff for it. I just figured she would use what she had. I found out tonight, however, that we had a little misunderstanding. I assumed she would wear her Christmas dress. She wanted to wear her Easter dress form two years ago. It's her pageant and if she wants to wear a dress that is too small then so be it. I had to smile when she said she didn't need sparkles like all of the other girls. She just wants to be her. How can I blame her on that one. She is such an awesome kid. She doesn't care what anyone else thinks. We went to her tech rehearsal tonight and I snuck a peak of her in the wings. She was giggling away with her friends. It made my day to see her so happy.
Today was also busy because I helped sort things for a yard sale fundraiser. Boy oh boy, over 4 hours of sun is a lot on the arms. I am officially toasted!
Lastly, tomorrow is my anniversary. 18 years have passed and we are still together. We are passing on the gifts as we had to buy a new washer just last night. A new front loader is coming my way.
There's more to say but I am too tired to do it. I've got to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be really busy.
It finally stopped snowing here. I'm so glad. Seeing fresh snow at the end of May was CRAZY. One ski resort is saying it will be open for July 4th. My garden is most likely going to be less than stellar due to the cold weather. But we'll live :)
My dad is visiting right now. My cousin died in a small plane crash last week. My father came up for the funeral. Actually, he didn't go to the funeral. He went to the viewing and the grave services. It was a crazy thing as my father's family isn't super close. None of my father's siblings except his brother (my cousin's dad) were at the funeral. I guess some of them went to the viewing the night before. So my family goes and instead of sitting with the family like we usually do at funerals, we sit at the back, near the back row of a very huge service. I look to my left and I think, "I swear that lady is my cousin." I didn't have the guts to say, "Hey, are you my cousin?" So instead I wondered for the whole funeral. Then, I looked her up on facebook. I was right. I guess she must have felt a little uncomfortable too. It's unfortunate because I remember good times with my cousin as a kid. He was born less than two months after me and was my closest cousin on my dad's side. It was horribly sad watching his wife take his three small children to the casket to say goodbye at the grave.
So it go me to thinking a bit. I'm so not ever going to trust statistics. How many people have their family member killed in a plane crash? (Okay... so maybe more than you think...) How many people have had someone try to kidnap them (that was me... but it's a story for another day)? How many people have lived a couple of streets away from and have known an 11 year old kid who was kidnapped and never returned? How many people have two babies that are stillborn from different things? How many people have a great friend who survived an amniotic fluid embolism (this may be the rarest of things)? And the list goes on.... It's why I never believe people when they say things can't happen or won't most likely happen. I'm wondering if I am more aware of this just because I am a bit of a control freak by nature.... No missy, you are really NOT in control.
Next week is super busy. DH originally took the week off work so I could be somewhere with Miss M. And then he found out that court time (not for him... more as a witness) trumped vacation. So I have been busy finding sitters for the times I need.
T had a swim meet today. It wasn't his finest. I don't care if it's June. It's still cold when it's 50 something degrees outside. He was about to shiver out of his jammers while up on the blocks.
M is in a pageant this weekend. It's killing me. I don't want to be a pageant mom. I didn't really buy a bunch of stuff for it. I just figured she would use what she had. I found out tonight, however, that we had a little misunderstanding. I assumed she would wear her Christmas dress. She wanted to wear her Easter dress form two years ago. It's her pageant and if she wants to wear a dress that is too small then so be it. I had to smile when she said she didn't need sparkles like all of the other girls. She just wants to be her. How can I blame her on that one. She is such an awesome kid. She doesn't care what anyone else thinks. We went to her tech rehearsal tonight and I snuck a peak of her in the wings. She was giggling away with her friends. It made my day to see her so happy.
Today was also busy because I helped sort things for a yard sale fundraiser. Boy oh boy, over 4 hours of sun is a lot on the arms. I am officially toasted!
Lastly, tomorrow is my anniversary. 18 years have passed and we are still together. We are passing on the gifts as we had to buy a new washer just last night. A new front loader is coming my way.
There's more to say but I am too tired to do it. I've got to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be really busy.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wowsers it has been a long time.....
I'm not feeling too bad since I am only a week or two behind on the picture blog. Still, I have missed out on just about everything here.
So where to start. Our sweet dog did die. We had to have her put down the day after Easter. It was a sad time in our casa. She was my little pup when we had Niko. And for that first year after we had him, she was my bambina. It was bizarre because it seemed like S had no emotions about the whole thing. Then, I found out she hand sanitized a girl's hair at school that day. The good news is that maybe she did have some deep emotions about having our dog die. The bad news is that smothering someone's hair in hand sanitizer isn't the best way to deal with it.
May has been busy busy busy. It seems like I am at the school so many times each week. I'll try to give a quick run down for each kid.
M had her year end performance for dance. It was her first time doing a lift with the boys. I decided I need to give her more credit. She did such a good job. Her pointe work was much more solid as well. She then got some bad virus and was out of commission for some time. She had the city track meet and a 5th grade talent show. I was so pleased with her. I was nervous for her. They placed her last and the 5th graders were getting antsy. There was a lot of wiggling and chit chatting. Then she started playing and that ALL stopped. Why would a bunch of 5th graders stop that for a Seitz concerto? I don't know, but they did! And after they clapped so loudly for her. See kiddo, it often does pay off when you work really hard all the time. Now it's the Shostokovich she has to learn in the next few weeks....
T had a swim meet. The good news was that he finally didn't get DQ'd on breaststroke. (One time he made it through on that stroke but they missed dq'ing him.) The day that DH took him though he dove in for his 50 Fly and forgot which stroke he was doing. Oops! He did a minute to win it type of game for his class business. I guess the kids all wanted to do office tennis and so instead of bringing home the Oreos, he just snacked on them the entire hour. He pretty much ate an entire package. He had his talent show as well. So many people came up and mentioned their surprise that T could play like that. He recently bought a coonskin cap and has been wearing it everywhere. T had a track meet for school. He made the relay team, but then the relay team was last. The tall gangly kids didn't seem to be the best runners.
D has been busy. He has two birthday parties this weekend. He's been a little antsy about things lately. We had a bit of a disaster. His framed picture of him when he was little (came in the frame with him from Texas) fell off his dresser and broke. What I didn't realize was that this picture had been wet before. So when he went to take the picture out it started tearing. He was heartbroken. I didn't even think that it could have happened. The box of pictures I saw in Texas had quite a few wet stuck together ones. I just didn't think about the frame. Anyway, we have photographed it with the broken stuck glass on top and put the special picture in a box so he can keep it, broken glass and all forever.
S is doing better. She got this picture of Jesus on Easter at church and decided to start carrying it everywhere. She seemed to do better. We lost the picture and she was worried she couldn't be good and so I told her to just make the picture be in her memory. So far so good. She's still wanting to blow up often, but she's really trying to control it. Go S! She had K graduation today. She concentrated so hard during the program. She said she's so excited to spend time with me now that school is out. I guess I'm moving up in the world.
C has been a little miss grouchy pants today. But I have to cut her some slack as she has a cold and a double ear infection. She has been funny lately. She likes the word random and will talk about wanting to speak or wave at random people. She said she wished she had a carpool she could do that. She also has surprised me with her learning. The other day she heard the word truck and said something to the effect of , "Hmm... does that end with a k or ck? It ends with a ck." Who taught her that? Today we were heading to the school with the kids and all of a sudden I hear violin playing in the car. She had her instrument in the backseat because she hadn't practiced that morning. What a little turkey!
As for the grown ups.... DH survived the huge layoffs at his company. So all is well for us, but not for some of the people he knows. He's taking a hunter safety course and kind of feels dorky because he's pretty much the oldest person taking the course. He's been biking as he still has injured toes. He got his spot in his marathon but can't run for now. The thing to remember is to not run really steep long hills for workouts or you might wreck your toes. He's hoping he can start running again soon.
I have not been running. How did I get up to 14 miles at a time last year and then not want to leave my house this year. Maybe it's the cruddy weather. I don't know. I just can't get up at 5 something every morning. (Or hmmm... maybe it's that I do things like blog in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping.) Not much to report on the me front. May is the taxi month for moms... so many things to get to. Oh I started working on organizing my cold storage room. Boy does it need work. I've got to tell myself to not buy a single toothpaste that isn't free. I have more than a year supply of the stuff.
The weather is cold cold and colder. The snow is halfway down the mountains today. We put our garden in. I wonder if anything will live. If not, I'll just replant. I'm hoping for the best.
So where to start. Our sweet dog did die. We had to have her put down the day after Easter. It was a sad time in our casa. She was my little pup when we had Niko. And for that first year after we had him, she was my bambina. It was bizarre because it seemed like S had no emotions about the whole thing. Then, I found out she hand sanitized a girl's hair at school that day. The good news is that maybe she did have some deep emotions about having our dog die. The bad news is that smothering someone's hair in hand sanitizer isn't the best way to deal with it.
May has been busy busy busy. It seems like I am at the school so many times each week. I'll try to give a quick run down for each kid.
M had her year end performance for dance. It was her first time doing a lift with the boys. I decided I need to give her more credit. She did such a good job. Her pointe work was much more solid as well. She then got some bad virus and was out of commission for some time. She had the city track meet and a 5th grade talent show. I was so pleased with her. I was nervous for her. They placed her last and the 5th graders were getting antsy. There was a lot of wiggling and chit chatting. Then she started playing and that ALL stopped. Why would a bunch of 5th graders stop that for a Seitz concerto? I don't know, but they did! And after they clapped so loudly for her. See kiddo, it often does pay off when you work really hard all the time. Now it's the Shostokovich she has to learn in the next few weeks....
T had a swim meet. The good news was that he finally didn't get DQ'd on breaststroke. (One time he made it through on that stroke but they missed dq'ing him.) The day that DH took him though he dove in for his 50 Fly and forgot which stroke he was doing. Oops! He did a minute to win it type of game for his class business. I guess the kids all wanted to do office tennis and so instead of bringing home the Oreos, he just snacked on them the entire hour. He pretty much ate an entire package. He had his talent show as well. So many people came up and mentioned their surprise that T could play like that. He recently bought a coonskin cap and has been wearing it everywhere. T had a track meet for school. He made the relay team, but then the relay team was last. The tall gangly kids didn't seem to be the best runners.
D has been busy. He has two birthday parties this weekend. He's been a little antsy about things lately. We had a bit of a disaster. His framed picture of him when he was little (came in the frame with him from Texas) fell off his dresser and broke. What I didn't realize was that this picture had been wet before. So when he went to take the picture out it started tearing. He was heartbroken. I didn't even think that it could have happened. The box of pictures I saw in Texas had quite a few wet stuck together ones. I just didn't think about the frame. Anyway, we have photographed it with the broken stuck glass on top and put the special picture in a box so he can keep it, broken glass and all forever.
S is doing better. She got this picture of Jesus on Easter at church and decided to start carrying it everywhere. She seemed to do better. We lost the picture and she was worried she couldn't be good and so I told her to just make the picture be in her memory. So far so good. She's still wanting to blow up often, but she's really trying to control it. Go S! She had K graduation today. She concentrated so hard during the program. She said she's so excited to spend time with me now that school is out. I guess I'm moving up in the world.
C has been a little miss grouchy pants today. But I have to cut her some slack as she has a cold and a double ear infection. She has been funny lately. She likes the word random and will talk about wanting to speak or wave at random people. She said she wished she had a carpool she could do that. She also has surprised me with her learning. The other day she heard the word truck and said something to the effect of , "Hmm... does that end with a k or ck? It ends with a ck." Who taught her that? Today we were heading to the school with the kids and all of a sudden I hear violin playing in the car. She had her instrument in the backseat because she hadn't practiced that morning. What a little turkey!
As for the grown ups.... DH survived the huge layoffs at his company. So all is well for us, but not for some of the people he knows. He's taking a hunter safety course and kind of feels dorky because he's pretty much the oldest person taking the course. He's been biking as he still has injured toes. He got his spot in his marathon but can't run for now. The thing to remember is to not run really steep long hills for workouts or you might wreck your toes. He's hoping he can start running again soon.
I have not been running. How did I get up to 14 miles at a time last year and then not want to leave my house this year. Maybe it's the cruddy weather. I don't know. I just can't get up at 5 something every morning. (Or hmmm... maybe it's that I do things like blog in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping.) Not much to report on the me front. May is the taxi month for moms... so many things to get to. Oh I started working on organizing my cold storage room. Boy does it need work. I've got to tell myself to not buy a single toothpaste that isn't free. I have more than a year supply of the stuff.
The weather is cold cold and colder. The snow is halfway down the mountains today. We put our garden in. I wonder if anything will live. If not, I'll just replant. I'm hoping for the best.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Post Spring Break
Things have been moving along here. It seems like we are always busy yet I never know quite what we have done.
We had a somewhat uneventful spring break. For weeks before spring break, I looked up things to do. Then it arrived and well, we did some of it.
We did go to the science museum for one day. We went out to lunch with DH to a buffet (always a hit). That day I came home and vowed to get over my sugar and carb addiction as I felt like crud even driving home. I almost had to pull over because I was so tired. That is bad news! I came home and told the kids to NOT do their chores and just go watch a show together and I ZONKED out. Luckily, M was home and she would be the first one to wake me if things were amiss. T, D, and C went skiing with DH. C is doing great skiing from the top of the mountain. It's hard to believe she is only 4. That day, M and S went to lunch with me and a friend and then I took the two of them to a great park to play. I wasn't trying to torture S. She just can't ski right now as she is too defiant and well, defiance has no place on a ski lift. I had plans for a couple of other places but S was struggling too much to go anywhere. DH and I got a break and hired an older sitter to come so we could go to the ballet. We went to Z-Tejas. Oh they have yummy stuff on their gluten free menu. I told DH that I could not believe the difference between how I felt there and how I felt after indulging in carbs at a buffet.
I also went to a parent convention for suzuki music parents. It was interesting because the convention didn't really tell me a lot I didn't already know about trying to help kids with music. It did, however, have some really good reminders of things I need to consider with S. They really had nothing to do with music and I am sorry for all the other attendees that had to sit through the shpill... but I needed to hear it. I'm trying to remember a few different things from her to see if we can get different results. I just finally got around to remembering that I can do NOTHING to change her. I can only change ME. UGH! So I guess I have to be the one changing.
The kids are back in school this week. It's great for them and great for me. Of course, we started all of our other activities as well. I have to brag for just a minute on my boys. We had our pinewood derby last night. DH insisted that the boys do their own cars. They designed, cut, sanded and painted their cars. We weighted them with some change and duct tape. These were NOT fancy shmancy cars. They both did pretty well. The tape over the quarters was rubbing on T's pig patrol car. We put the tape on the bottom so it wouldn't cover T's 'designer' pig car. It didn't work so well as the car rubbed on the track a bit. Still, he won a race or two and got second frequently. D's car 'The Harry Potter', had nickles and pennies on top because our duct tape was black and so was his car. He was so thrilled that night. I loved that he was really happy for T and everyone else when they did well. And wouldn't you know it, D ended in third place for all the boys in the troop. I was so glad DH stuck to his guns and had the boys do the work themselves.
In other news, I lost my keys at the store today. I looked through my purse many times and couldn't see a thing. C started to go through my purse and pulled them out. She claimed she 'saved the day' and then cried. She told me, "It's okay, sometimes we cry happy tears."
M had a super fabulous violin lesson and surprised her teacher with Seitz Concerto #5 3rd mvmt. I know, you can find 5 or 6 year olds on youtube that play it but I was still so proud of her. She learned and memorized the whole thing in two weeks. She has so much to practice before her summer camp. I'm still trying to track down her Shostokovich music. It's hard to find. I hate for her to have so much practice, but most of the time she seems to find so much joy in playing. Life is busy now with dance too though as she has a performance in two weeks. (It's her first one being lifted by boys... AUGH!)
T has been on a good roll this week. He went in and shocked his teacher today. He had memorized one new song, learned another with the music, and then went in and played another by ear that he had been playing for 'fun'. I had told both T and M that if they went in with certain things they could have a trip to the dollar store for one item. They surpassed my expectations. Tonight it was so fun to take them to the store. T was a kid in a candy store. I couldn't believe how happy one thing from the dollar store could make him. It made me think that for all of our faults, we are doing something right with the kids. A trip to the dollar store isn't unappreciated. T starts a big set of two weeks for swim this Saturday. He has 4 days of meets in a two week period. It's going to be tricky for all of us. I'll be glad to have a break for most of May after that.
D is still on could nine from the derby. It's also been great for him to go back to school. It's not that I am trying to get rid of him. He just thrives in that structured environment. It made me realize that I need to come up with a good plan for the summer. He loves to not have things to do and lots of free time, but it drives him crazy at the same time. So, I need to spend a little time working that out. He didn't freak out at his lesson today and we didn't mention when he got a little bit stuck doing the same thing over and over in a song. It's not worth it. It's not the goal. I want him to love music and let it work in his brain. He'll end up with great tone because he is such a good practicer.
S, well, we have had some better days. She did punch C in the nose this week. C did go in her room, but well, you know generally your response isn't to hit someone in the face. That wasn't so great. She's had a lot of time with dear ol' mom in the past few weeks because she does things that makes it so she can't be unsupervised. Well, and the vinyl lettering in her room is now trashed. But she has seemed to snap out of things more quickly since I'm trying a few new things. I've just got to catch her before that cortisol takes over and boy is that hard. I'm hopeful. Today she did great helping me at the store and didn't throw a single fit. She's really excited about her school program right now. I'm sure she'll be pretty cute in it. She's a monkey.
C has been a pill at times and then hilarious at others. The last few days she has been in to wearing berets. When she's not saving the day, she is wanting to play. Lately we have butted heads a few times because well, she is 4 and kids that age just want what they want right then.
Oh, I bought animal cheater chopsticks... that has been quite a highlight for our kids. They LOVE eating with them.
And lastly, the reason this blog is so long is that our dog is not doing well, and I fear that my next blog may be announcing her death. She is quite old, almost 13 which is old for a lab. Still, I hate to see her so feeble. She hasn't really been eating much and isn't getting up for too much anymore. We are guessing that she can no longer see well. She has aged a lot in the last year or two but the last month we have seen things go downhill fast. Today she didn't even take a sip of the meat juice I put in her bowl.
And that is where we are at. DH is going snowboarding tomorrow. It's the end of the season and he has one pass left. It's crazy that there could be fresh snow up there. I'm going to do my regular Friday thing.
Life is good. It may not seem like it to outsiders, but even with all the craziness, the flowers are still blooming and there is beauty everywhere.
We had a somewhat uneventful spring break. For weeks before spring break, I looked up things to do. Then it arrived and well, we did some of it.
We did go to the science museum for one day. We went out to lunch with DH to a buffet (always a hit). That day I came home and vowed to get over my sugar and carb addiction as I felt like crud even driving home. I almost had to pull over because I was so tired. That is bad news! I came home and told the kids to NOT do their chores and just go watch a show together and I ZONKED out. Luckily, M was home and she would be the first one to wake me if things were amiss. T, D, and C went skiing with DH. C is doing great skiing from the top of the mountain. It's hard to believe she is only 4. That day, M and S went to lunch with me and a friend and then I took the two of them to a great park to play. I wasn't trying to torture S. She just can't ski right now as she is too defiant and well, defiance has no place on a ski lift. I had plans for a couple of other places but S was struggling too much to go anywhere. DH and I got a break and hired an older sitter to come so we could go to the ballet. We went to Z-Tejas. Oh they have yummy stuff on their gluten free menu. I told DH that I could not believe the difference between how I felt there and how I felt after indulging in carbs at a buffet.
I also went to a parent convention for suzuki music parents. It was interesting because the convention didn't really tell me a lot I didn't already know about trying to help kids with music. It did, however, have some really good reminders of things I need to consider with S. They really had nothing to do with music and I am sorry for all the other attendees that had to sit through the shpill... but I needed to hear it. I'm trying to remember a few different things from her to see if we can get different results. I just finally got around to remembering that I can do NOTHING to change her. I can only change ME. UGH! So I guess I have to be the one changing.
The kids are back in school this week. It's great for them and great for me. Of course, we started all of our other activities as well. I have to brag for just a minute on my boys. We had our pinewood derby last night. DH insisted that the boys do their own cars. They designed, cut, sanded and painted their cars. We weighted them with some change and duct tape. These were NOT fancy shmancy cars. They both did pretty well. The tape over the quarters was rubbing on T's pig patrol car. We put the tape on the bottom so it wouldn't cover T's 'designer' pig car. It didn't work so well as the car rubbed on the track a bit. Still, he won a race or two and got second frequently. D's car 'The Harry Potter', had nickles and pennies on top because our duct tape was black and so was his car. He was so thrilled that night. I loved that he was really happy for T and everyone else when they did well. And wouldn't you know it, D ended in third place for all the boys in the troop. I was so glad DH stuck to his guns and had the boys do the work themselves.
In other news, I lost my keys at the store today. I looked through my purse many times and couldn't see a thing. C started to go through my purse and pulled them out. She claimed she 'saved the day' and then cried. She told me, "It's okay, sometimes we cry happy tears."
M had a super fabulous violin lesson and surprised her teacher with Seitz Concerto #5 3rd mvmt. I know, you can find 5 or 6 year olds on youtube that play it but I was still so proud of her. She learned and memorized the whole thing in two weeks. She has so much to practice before her summer camp. I'm still trying to track down her Shostokovich music. It's hard to find. I hate for her to have so much practice, but most of the time she seems to find so much joy in playing. Life is busy now with dance too though as she has a performance in two weeks. (It's her first one being lifted by boys... AUGH!)
T has been on a good roll this week. He went in and shocked his teacher today. He had memorized one new song, learned another with the music, and then went in and played another by ear that he had been playing for 'fun'. I had told both T and M that if they went in with certain things they could have a trip to the dollar store for one item. They surpassed my expectations. Tonight it was so fun to take them to the store. T was a kid in a candy store. I couldn't believe how happy one thing from the dollar store could make him. It made me think that for all of our faults, we are doing something right with the kids. A trip to the dollar store isn't unappreciated. T starts a big set of two weeks for swim this Saturday. He has 4 days of meets in a two week period. It's going to be tricky for all of us. I'll be glad to have a break for most of May after that.
D is still on could nine from the derby. It's also been great for him to go back to school. It's not that I am trying to get rid of him. He just thrives in that structured environment. It made me realize that I need to come up with a good plan for the summer. He loves to not have things to do and lots of free time, but it drives him crazy at the same time. So, I need to spend a little time working that out. He didn't freak out at his lesson today and we didn't mention when he got a little bit stuck doing the same thing over and over in a song. It's not worth it. It's not the goal. I want him to love music and let it work in his brain. He'll end up with great tone because he is such a good practicer.
S, well, we have had some better days. She did punch C in the nose this week. C did go in her room, but well, you know generally your response isn't to hit someone in the face. That wasn't so great. She's had a lot of time with dear ol' mom in the past few weeks because she does things that makes it so she can't be unsupervised. Well, and the vinyl lettering in her room is now trashed. But she has seemed to snap out of things more quickly since I'm trying a few new things. I've just got to catch her before that cortisol takes over and boy is that hard. I'm hopeful. Today she did great helping me at the store and didn't throw a single fit. She's really excited about her school program right now. I'm sure she'll be pretty cute in it. She's a monkey.
C has been a pill at times and then hilarious at others. The last few days she has been in to wearing berets. When she's not saving the day, she is wanting to play. Lately we have butted heads a few times because well, she is 4 and kids that age just want what they want right then.
Oh, I bought animal cheater chopsticks... that has been quite a highlight for our kids. They LOVE eating with them.
And lastly, the reason this blog is so long is that our dog is not doing well, and I fear that my next blog may be announcing her death. She is quite old, almost 13 which is old for a lab. Still, I hate to see her so feeble. She hasn't really been eating much and isn't getting up for too much anymore. We are guessing that she can no longer see well. She has aged a lot in the last year or two but the last month we have seen things go downhill fast. Today she didn't even take a sip of the meat juice I put in her bowl.
And that is where we are at. DH is going snowboarding tomorrow. It's the end of the season and he has one pass left. It's crazy that there could be fresh snow up there. I'm going to do my regular Friday thing.
Life is good. It may not seem like it to outsiders, but even with all the craziness, the flowers are still blooming and there is beauty everywhere.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Today T was named swimmer of the week for his team. I was really surprised. What is even more funny is that he got a free pizza gift certificate. He's one of the people in the family who can't eat pizza. The graveside services for that sweet baby are tomorrow. This week has made me just think so much. Tonight DH and I went on a date. After dinner, we went over to my least favorite discount store to wander around. After all, we have wandered around the stores in our town often enough and needed something new. As we wandered I remembered that awful feeling of going to such a store after burying your baby. I wandered as if I didn't know where I was going. And then when I got to the baby section it was as if it were not allowed. But I had to go in because I still had a kid in diapers. Still, my mind kept saying, "No, not for you miss." I'd let my hand graze a small baby outfit and it would feel so foreign. I just HAD to touch them yet I couldn't let myself enjoy them. Oh it's so awful going to the store. It took so long after both my boys before I could walk in a baby section and buy a gift without feeling like an alien. Anyway... just a memory. I'm so glad I am years out x2 on this whole thing. For so many years I just wanted to have a reason to be in the baby section of a store and now I am thrilled to be out of it. How life changes!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Grief
I've had an experience the past few days that reminded me how hard grief can be. A neighbor of mine lost her baby. She was full term when her baby's cord compressed and caused it to be stillborn. I sit here, still at such a loss of what I can do. It's because, quite frankly, I know there is NOTHING I really do. When I found out the news it made me so frantic. Having done this twice, I feel like a bit of a pro. With tears streaming down my face I kept silently saying, "They are going to run out of time." How do you squish a lifetime's worth of memories into a day? You don't. You just don't get them. I didn't know what to do. Should I go out there? They only had so much time as a family. Would I be intruding? Is there something I could say that would help them have one less regret later? You see, this dear neighbor of mine has a special place in my heart when it comes to one of my boys. When I was pregnant with Joshua, there were so many pregnant ladies. And it seemed like ALL of them were having girls. She was due with a boy not a month later and so we had determined our boys could be buddies. Well, unfortunately, we didn't quite make it with the follow through on that one. But year after year on or near Joshua's birthday I would get a call or a quick visit. Hey we are thinking of you was the message each time. She remembers my baby's birthday. Not many people, even in my close circle of friends remembers. (And heck, how could anyone who met the kid forget him. He was so dang cute and such a little hunk of a boy!) So knowing that she was going to experience a similar heartache was just about all I could bear yesterday. My heart has rarely felt so incredibly heavy. And this time the grief wasn't just about me. It did bring up those deep feelings of grief for my boys and how I missed them. But I just had such a sadness that she now has to really get it. You can't get it unless you have been there. You can be so sad for someone. But then, something happens and you can let your mind wander from it for a minute. You can let your world go on for a while until you remember how awful things are for that person. When you are in the club, however, it's a different story. I guess it's a good thing that most people literally can only try to understand because it's so painful that you don't really want everyone to know what it feels like. Anyway, I did go for a visit and I got to visit her little angel. Oh my goodness he was a sweet beautiful little baby. I got to touch his soft skin and admire his beautiful hands and feet. His fingers were divine. I feel fortunate to have been able to caress his little head. He's the only little angel baby I have ever held except my own. Angel babies bring a different feeling to the room. Yes, there is sadness, but it isn't just that. They bring with them reverence for life and for the life after death. Oh, how fortunate I was to get to meet his little body. And now I grieve for my friend. I wish I didn't know what was ahead of her. I don't want her to have to endure it, but there is no other way. You can't shortchange grief. It's always gets its way. For now, I'll count my blessings, all seven of mine and pray that I can help her shoulder some of her cares now.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
All Caught Up
No, that is not on my house. But I finally have my pictures pretty caught up on the photo blog. That is a big feat considering how behind I was.
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