It's official

We all share the same last name now. We went to court yesterday.

It was such a crazy day. The night before DH had been coughing up a lung and I finally went into the family room and tried to sleep in front of the fire. Then, a couple of hours later, I heard dripping. At first I thought someone was going potty for way too long. Then I realized it was coming from my fridge. My worry was that my fridge was leaking and it was going to ruin the walls in my basement before ever getting to enjoy them. So I spent a while trying to figure out how to get the grill off of the fridge. In the end, I went online and found out that the sound I was hearing was the defrost cycle and was totally normal. A few hours later D and T woke up and started talking loudly and woke up the rest of the house.

So you can imagine how happily we started out the morning.

I got the kids off to school and then came home and started to work on putting outfits together for each kid. The morning just disappeared. And while that happened my house looked more and more like a tornado found it.

Then the memories really started. I picked S up from school and the 3 youngest kids came with me to get the older two from school. We walked into the office to request that M and T be pulled from their classes. S went up to the principal who happened to be seated between the secretaries and said, "What's your name?" The principal responded and asked the same question back. S replied and the principal commented on S's beautiful name. I expected S to start talking about how she picked her own name. This is usually what happens when someone tells her she has a beautiful name. But not this time! Instead she said, "Did you ever know that I had something up my bum?" (I am not even kidding one single bit about this.) The principal's eyes got HUGE. I knew what she was talking about and said, "Um, she has had a bit of a wiping issue." There was relief on the principal's face and a little smile. Then S quickly adds, "But I got it all off." And then S walks over and gets up on a chair and starts doing a behavior that is on our list of most important to eliminate. I was ready to crawl in a hole. Fortunately we were able to provide a little humor for the ladies in the office.

Then we came home and got the S and the older two ready and headed out the door. Luckily, we arrived without problem. My MIL and good friend R and her daughter were there. We headed upstairs to our courtroom and went through the questions. Everything went super smoothly (or maybe it didn't and I just didn't catch that part. After, we took some pictures. The judge was really great. He took all five up to his bench and let the kids wear his robe, etc. Then we went searching for an ice cream place and ended up at a super fun place that literally makes your ice cream right there.

The afternoon was back to normal. We had swimming lessons and dance lessons. No problems were solved by the judge making it all legal. I do think it will matter to all of us that we are legally a family and not just guardians. And the judge seemed thrilled to do the case. He said there are 60 or 70 something felony cases in court today. It's still less than thrilling if you ask me. Ideally biomom and dad would have gotten married and decided to do what it takes to raise happy and productive kids. But ideal isn't always reality. So we are going to make the most of this and see if we can give these kids the best chance at a good life as possible.

Something Positive About Everyone

DH- He has hung all but three doors. That's pretty great!

M-Last week she came home very excited for her friend who won a category in a local contest. I was so proud of her because she wasn't at all jealous that her entry in the same category didn't win. It was better for me than having her win.

T- He went to a birthday party for a kid in his class. I asked him what he did and he said he watched the college football game on television. What a goof! He also made it 7 lengths of the lap pool at swimming lessons and didn't give his swim teacher any grief.

D- He had his family birthday party. Last year he seemed so disappointed that the presents didn't just keep coming. This year, he seemed so content with the 3 presents from the family and the ones from his grandparents. It felt like a big victory.

S- She managed to play with her friend for about two hours yesterday without fighting.

C- She warmed my heart over and over again.

Past my bedtime so this had better be short

Tomorrow is the big day. We are going to visit the judge, where S has informed me, she will say that she picked a super beautiful name all by herself. She may just talk the judge's ear off.

It's been a long week.

Since my last post T flooded the first grade boys bathroom with another boy by flushing the potty too many times. He told me it wasn't such a big deal. The bathroom has a drain for that. He ended up doing over 4 hours of schoolwork at home that night. He hasn't had a bad day at school since from what I know.

I found out that D was getting into trouble in the coatroom at school. Of course, it was the other kids' fault. When I talked to his teacher I found out that he seems to be initiating problems at school. I can see how it happens. He can't keep his hands to himself and loves to pester people. It's not that he is a bad kid. He isn't. He just can't stand to not have the attention all the time. Still, it was frustrating. I know he is such a good kid inside. I wish he were sure enough of himself to not have to constantly need attention.

M and I had a Saturday together. We had an activity at church together. We watched Enchanted. How cute is that movie! I hadn't seen it if you can believe it. It was adorable. Then she had Nutcracker practice.

S spent a bunch of time with daddy this weekend. She seems to do better when she has a lot of daddy time. I think he is actually the better parent. It's just so much easier for him to be consistent. She was doing this crazy play dumb thing though. For example after talking during family prayers DH asked her to sit against the wall. She goes and stands next to the wall and gets a fake perplexed look on her face. "What is against? What does that mean?" She did that type of thing a bunch over the weekend and continued this morning. She is back to putting on a show and being the fake S. It's too bad because the real S is much nicer to be around.

D got in HUGE trouble at church. He peed in the garbage can in his class. Yes, you can fall off your chair and spit hot chocolate all over your shirt. He went to class (located not far from the bathroom) and decided that he needed to go (probably the truth). His teacher wasn't there yet and he didn't want to get into trouble for leaving without permission. Another kid in his class suggested the garbage can and so he did it. LOVELY! Let's just say I was humiliated. After being informed of this by someone speaking too kindly about it, I went back to my 'grown up' class (as S calls it). I told my friend that I knew he wouldn't own it when I saw him. I secretly hoped he would just say, "I peed in the garbage can. I'm sorry." Instead the first thing he said to me was, "so and so told me to do it." I was furious. It wasn't even the peeing in the garbage can in front of fellow six year olds that pushed me over. It was that he wouldn't just take ownership of it. We were right by the back doors of the church and I walked out swearing. Yep, that's right. I maybe have even slipped a little before I got out of the door. I was so angry. What an example of choosing the right I was. UGH! Then we got home and I went into the house and told DH to ask him how his day went and he told DH it was good. HUH? Then he said, "I didn't touch anybody." Yep, but was it really a good day? I so wish he would tell the truth. I want to trust him. I want that to be something of a building block in our relationship. And I can guess why it's hard for him to trust. But I try to show him over and over that when you tell the truth it's better. I try to go super easy on him if he tells the truth. He didn't get dessert.

My friend and I painted baseboards like crazy today. The person who ordered our carpet called to say that it is in as well. Woooo hooo! I can't wait to get that basement done.

I don't know what to think about tomorrow. I don't feel how I thought I would. But that's okay. It's time to do this. D is super excited. He has already memorized how to spell our last name. He's thrilled and I am glad to see him so happy about that.

It's Quiet

My house is just so quiet right now.

I could clean. I SHOULD clean. Instead I am sitting here eating a bowl of fresh cranberries. What a life!

My friend from AZ came to visit this weekend. It was so much fun just hanging out with her. We didn't do anything extraordinary. But they were good times. My kids just adored having her here. We chat just about everyday. Still, there is something about having a friend in real life verses over the phone.

DH pretty much took charge of S this weekend. She has been on a crooked path for a little while. I have been trying to just keep going in the right direction. I was thrilled, however, that DH was the consistent one for the weekend and just let me check out. Yesterday she did one last test of her will early before preschool. I stayed calm and let her finally come around to choosing the right all by herself. It had to be boring on the time out can. Finally after an hour, she turned around and faced the wall and was quiet for 3 minutes. Time out was over and she turned back into delightful girl. I couldn't hold things over her head and try to persuade her into making the right decision. She just had to do it. And since then she has been great and more importantly, happy. And the knot in my stomach, the horrible pain that has been there for days, finally went away after she turned back into happy girl. I finally recognized the feeling from the past. The first year I taught school I had one really really difficult math class. It was filled almost entirely with boys that were very difficult and very far behind in math. I would feel sick every day before teaching that class. (Of course the stink bombs and the pictures of me with my head cut off via machete didn't help.) I think now that I know what is going on I will be able to combat that a little more.

I'm just so grateful for the break from the constant tension. I was telling my friend how magnificent and delightful S can be when she isn't in her control mode. She is so engaging and likable.

What else? C had the stomach bug thing on Sunday. I felt like mom of the year when I noticed things weren't right and managed to get a pan under her. That's tricky with a babe.

I learned to make bread yesterday. It was so easy. I have struggled forever trying to make it and it was a snap. Now I want to make it everyday. I'm sure I'll get over that ;)

The last of the tomatoes are bottled. My box is empty and I am glad. I love not having to buy them but I am ready to send my steamer to its home for the winter season.

We meet at the attorney's office tomorrow to go over the final details for the finalization. That is next Tuesday. It's an odd feeling. I don't really feel ready, yet we have been ready since before we met them because we KNEW that they were supposed to come to us. So we are going to go forward with faith and hope for blessings. What use is faith if it is never tried? I imagine how I feel when I want D to tell the truth so badly. I am just rooting for him inside. Come on D, just tell the truth. I so want you to feel that happiness. I am ready to give you a big squeeze. Just tell the truth. Well maybe something similar is going on in the heavens. Come on, you know it is right. Just do it. I want you to reap these blessings but you can't if you won't go ahead.

And with that deep thought I will leave and go load some laundry and put away the dishes. There is too much of everyday to stay deep for a long time.

Over it

It was neither the broccoli nor a case of Barackitis. It was just a dang virus. I was up most of the night shivering with my head next to a pan. But dang it, I just wasn't sick enough to throw up.

The sun still came up this morning and the kids headed off to school. I guess an election doesn't do much to change anything immediately. I have my hesitations but they won't help me one single bit.

I had a good conversation with my friend today. She really helped me keep the grouchies at bay when I was going to let them get the best of me. S was winning the battles today. She just kept getting to me. And what's worse is that she knew it. Not a good day for me. I could blame it on the lack of sleep or the fact that I was sick all night and then had kids screaming to play outside before sunrise. But in reality, I was just a crankster. So my friend helped me to remove myself from that. It went much better once I listened to that advice. I know these things dang it but once my buttons are all pushed they often get stuck.

Today D made a necklace using dried salt dough and yarn. He painted it for a contest. M also did a salt dough creation as well as a photography entry. T said he didn't care if he won. He just wanted to go to the ice cream party for having entered. That is so him.

I'm hoping DH gets home soon. It's the season for his work. They days are frequently 14 hours plus right at the end of the fiscal year. It stinks but we are used to it and grateful for a job that supports us all.

I ordered doors and baseboards for the basement today. They should be delivered next week. I don't know when DH will have time to get them in but at least they will be hanging out in the basement for any opportunity to be hung. I had four of the kids with me in this story and S was throwing a tantrum the entire time. The prideful side of me kept thinking about how horrible I looked. I just kept imagining this guy thinking, "What in the heck is this lady doing with 4 kids 6 and under?" (Little would he know as there is M too.) But I needed to order the dang doors and there is no guarantee that she will be acting better any day soon. Maybe it's good for me to have to taste a slice of humble pie.

And off I go. It's only 9:30 and DH just signed out of his IM account. He may just want some dinner heated up and it would be the least I could do.

SICK!

I actually feel queasy and I swear it is this election. I thought about it as my husband arrived home just before 9pm. He has a pretty okay job and works really hard. We still try to watch our spending but we aren't poverty stricken. But you know, maybe it's the greedy monster in me, I don't want the government (with the republicans or democrats) deciding where his hard earned money goes. I want to dish out my 10 percent to my church. I want to feel like I can help the well run non profits that call my house. I want to be able to say, hey so and so that has medical bills that will never be paid, here's some money. I hope it helps. I want the government to say, "Hey people, I know you want this or that but you know what it just isn't in the budget. Yep, that stinks." I'm in no mood to watch any government overspend when I am wearing velour pants that are now closer to capris than pants and a hoodie that has a bleach stain. Anyway, I'm not against pitching in and sharing many of the bills. We need cops, judges, streets, etc. I don't want to subsidize someone that spends a chunck of the week watching reruns of the Office on the computer (although I LOVE that show especially the 5k episode... go watch it for a laugh) when my husband works over 60 hours. I'm a little grouchy about this dang it. If I wanted to live in a socialist nation I would move to one. And of course, there are many people that are more than happy to have someone tell them, hey, I'll fix everything. It's not your fault that your lot is hard. You need the government to come in and solve your problems because you are not going to do it yourself. And you know, sometimes it isn't any particular person's fault that life is hard. There are times when it just seems so unfair. When we had Niko I thought life was really unfair. And then with Joshua, I thought the deck was stacked against us. But boy have a I learned a lot from those awful times. So I can't say that it was all horrible and for naught. Both parties have some issues with this.

And it's crazy too because I can see how people can feel so happy right now. My best friend has a little boy that is half black and half white. She adopted him as an infant. He is such a handsome thing. Although she might not be fond of all of our new president's ideas, she does love people that demonstrate to her son that he really can do anything. I can respect that. I just wish our new dawn of leadership didn't scare me so much.

And I am sure I have offended some of my friends. I'll apologize now because I am spacey enough to not remember later. Oh and I can't even stand to reread this thing for typos and fragments. They'll just have to stay in there until I read this again in a decade or so.

On the positive front, the currency markets are responding nicely. Maybe that will help us out. I have a feeling our new president will feel more than happy to take credit for it.

Oh, and the Obama kids are pretty dang cute and his wife seems very likable. I just wish I didn't feel like he was trying to tell everyone what they wanted to hear.

Voting Day

This morning D asked me whom I would be voting for. I told him and he said that he would be choosing the same person. He asked when we would be voting and I told him he was too little. He didn't seem to like that idea. He didn't see a problem with voting when you can't even read about the candidate. And what is frightening is that he could probably make just as an informed decision as many of the people out there today. The media has been crazy about this race. You really have to search out facts. Candidates tell you what they think you want to hear (one more than the other in my opinion) and then the media twists and turns it into a mess. I received and email about Obama with snippets from his book. They all looked really rotten. I had to tell my friend that although I am not an Obama supporter, I didn't think that it was fair for people to pull things out of context. If he is going to look bad let it be on the whole paragraph!

How I vote would be obvious to anyone that knows me well. I don't think either of the candidates are just what I am looking for but I do know that one of them is NOT at all what I am looking for (unless I am checking out a picture and going for who is more handsome ;) ) . Maybe I am getting old and that is why, for the first time, I am a little scared of the election results. The tricky thing is that this dang democracy of ours allows us to CHOOSE a socialist if we want. It reminds me of more heavenly system that lets us have agency to choose to live correctly or to make mistakes. And of course, there are consequences.

So this is the day today.

-S 'graduated' from therapy today. She stepped on her certificate with a wet shoe and decided to throw it away. D tried to convince her otherwise. (He keeps everything.) She didn't care. She wasn't too attached to the certificate.

-I took S to preschool.

-I came home and send DH on his way to work and cleaned for about and hour and a half and got the two that were home ready for the day.

-The three of us (me, D, and C) went to the grocery store and enjoyed some rain.

-I dropped D off to viola lessons and then left to pick S up from preschool.

-S had her quicky violin lesson. She still is ticked that she has to have a good knuckle bump before she can use her bow. She's all about making sound.

-We dropped D off to kindergarten.

-I came home and threw a roast in the crock pot and a load of wash in the washer and then took S and C to the neighbor's to be watched.

-I zoomed over to D's class to volunteer for rotations.

-I picked up the two little girls and put the baby down for a nap and let S choose some books for rest time.

-I came to check on the computer that my polling place was the one I thought it was and got distracted by blogging.

-The kids come home in less than 30 minutes. I'll feed them a snack and then take T to swimming lessons which is two minutes away. If C is asleep I will turn off all working appliances and let M sit in the house with her while I drive the two minutes there. (Somewhere in here I'll also move the clothes that will hopefully be dry soon to my bed and get another load of wash in.)

-I'll pick T up and then bring him home and get him back in real clothes.

-We'll head out to pick up another little girl for dance and then drop the girls off.

-I'll hang out for 30 minutes until David's class starts and then I'll send him in.

-Then I'll take the remaining 3 kids to the polling place and start standing in line. A 6, 3, and 1 year old is better than not voting. We'll wait for an hour and then DH hopefully will come and fetch them.

-And with luck, I'll be home before the national news media calls the race.

What craziness!

Oh and I had a FABULOUS Honeycrisp apple today. They have been close to 3 dollars a pound everywhere and today I found them for 99 cents a pound.