Catching Up

We celebrated Niko's birthday recently. It was one of our better birthday celebrations. We had some small colds but nothing like the nasty ones of years past.

We arrived early and went to a big family party. It's always fun to see DH's cousins and their growing broods. We spent a little bit of our time talking to DH's granny. She has always been so adorable. I think she really misses DH's grandpa who recently passed away. She remarked that he had passed away easily and just didn't wake up. She said she had tried that but she just kept waking up. She is so loved. Someday we'll all miss her so much. But it's sad to watch her as she misses her sweetheart and has failing vision and hearing. DH's aunt informed us of a talent show while we were driving down. I called an old friend and asked to borrow her daughter's viola. It's not quite the same but it worked. M and T played it. T went to practice and half way through his song he said, "Wait, where'd my E go?"

We went to church the next day. C was being a turkey and I had to take her out. After, a lady who knows DH's parents said to him, "You have 4 calm ones and one firecracker." If she only knew. Luckily, we have had enough time to train the 4 bigger ones.

On Niko's day we went out and did our shoe shopping first thing. T and D found theirs first. T wants a pair of basketball shoes and D got a pair of Nikes that are laced with elastics. M found a pair of Jessica Simpson flats. S found a pair of shoes that look like low top Converse. They are hot pink with white polka dots. C, the firecracker was more interested in looking for 11's for her size than shoes. (It turns out she needed 12s). We finally left the mall without any shoes for her and I took her into Payless and talked her into some fake Ugg like boots.

We went out to the cemetery and were surprised to find the geranium we planted in the cup holder last March still alive. In March we just took flowers from the grocery store because birthdays were on Sunday last year. I loved having something in Niko's little cup the was living. We added some flowers to his and the kids got antsy about visiting Joshua. DH jokingly told them they hadn't sung Niko happy birthday. So the kids busted out in song along with some cha cha chas and Scooby Doos. Then they zoomed down to Joshua and took him some flowers too. There was a little hide and seek action down in that part of the cemetery. Then C decided she just had to go to the bathroom. Now it's one thing to find a big bush or tree at a park if it's an emergency, but doing it at a cemetery is a different story. So the two of us headed to the office. We walked in to use the restroom and a couple was there obviously needing some property. I felt a little weird going in as happy as I was because they didn't look too happy. I wanted to say, "Hey, it's my dead kid's birthday and it's okay. I promise it'll be okay someday too." Instead, I just hurried C into the restroom. And it was okay. Did I get a little teary? Of course I did. But it was a good day. As we were leaving I noticed someone tending a grave right by Joshua's. She and her I'm guessing husband were doing it so tenderly. It was nothing like the quarrelling over which flower to leave. It wasn't hide and seek. It was just perfect. I'm guessing they were grandparents because they seemed too old to have a baby in the infant section. I thought how cool it would be to have someone else who wanted to stop by and care. I had to take a picture from a distance because it touched me so much.

We went out to lunch as a family and then headed back to my parents' house. My dad wanted to take DH and I shooting. I have never shot anything more powerful than a kids' water gun. We headed to the range and my dad gave me a quick lesson. There was some guy in the stall next door who had a gun with a very loud sound and quite a little fire when it was shot. I was actually pretty terrified to be there. I did shoot the .22 and it wasn't too bad. But when I went to shoot the 9mm or the .40 I was just too scared. The range master came in and gave me a little lesson. He really knew how to make someone aware of what needs to be done to have confidence. He instructed me and then had me shoot all three guns. Not only did I shoot them, but I managed quite a few bulls eyes. I think my dad really liked doing that with us too.

We visited a few friends that day. I would love to have seen more people. But time always runs out. I hope to visit them in March when we visit again.

It was a good trip. The kids were relatively good. The weather was nice there. We weren't too sick. There was so much good to appreciate. It was a nice way to start the Christmas week.

And the day gets better

We got a Christmas tree. It's green and full and not Charlie Brownish at all. I think DH put it in the basement. There wasn't time to decorate it at all so I didn't go down and check out piney friend out.

We survived all the activities. S and C didn't go to violin. I did get a bridge and did my best to be a luthier. I'm not great at it but it's not a fabulous violin either. I'm not touching the sound post. That's beyond what I can do.

We dropped D and M off early with books to read and took T to his practice. C brought her new build a bear and fur real friend panda. S brought her build a bear. Right before leaving S got mad at C and threw her panda to the ground and broke it. She didn't end up with a great track record today. Of course, those pandas aren't cheap and I wasn't thrilled. I didn't scream or anything. I'm too tired of it to do that. But S screamed at me. She screamed at the top of her lungs then. She screamed at me at home. I'm just a bit tired of doing calm parenting and getting screamed at.

So as you can imagine, getting the tree was less that festive. But we got it and that's what counts. I'm not sure what to do with S. Are her meds not right? Is this regular 5/6 year old behavior that is ramped up with other issues? Is this leftover from the trip to AZ for Thanksgiving? I'm at a loss. I just know she is wearing me thin as I try to just keep doing the right thing.

Good Times!

I don't want to turn into a grouchy scrooge. How about the highlights of the weekend....

I gave myself the good/better/best lecture and decided that M did NOT need to do her makeup lesson on Friday and T needed to miss swim so that we could have a little family time. It fell apart when the kids wouldn't pick up the mess in the basement. The family dinner fell apart and it was discouraging. It seemed like it would have been better off to have the swim practice and the makeup lesson done. I guess the good/better/best thing takes a while to master.

Saturday DH went snowboarding and I took the kids to a church party. They had a lot of fun there and I didn't have to make them breakfast :)

M and I worked that afternoon on the quilt we are making for her teacher. It was M's first chance with a sewing machine and she LOVED it. We were working on it when DH came home from boarding.

Somehow I miscommunicated the fact that we were celebrating C's birthday at Build A Bear that night and DH made the family room floor a temporary bed. When he finally awakened I told him that we were ready to go.

Build A Bear was a happening place. The kids had fun making their animals. We didn't let them get clothes or anything but they still had fun.

Sunday was the real birthday. C liked her birthday. I made a pig cake and piggy cupcakes. MIL showed up after church and C really liked that. Later that night we went to a friend's house for waffles and crepes. They looked great. I didn't have any because I didn't want to pay M another 5 dollars for having eating sugar.

This morning S had a rough time. It ended with a broken violin bridge and a sound post that is off. I was really frustrated, but I handled it really well. There was no screaming. I calmly said, "I guess you won't be able to have sugar with your breakfast because I said if you didn't get your practicing done then there could be no sugar with breakfast." (If you no longer have an instrument then you can't finish your practicing.) Anyway... I'm glad I didn't make it any worse. Then S had a rough day at school. I guess she kept hiding out in the coat closet because she was mad.

I hate to say it but I will be happy once we get through the holidays. I just feel like any umph I have has been sucked out of me. It's my Niko. It's the constant chaos. It's the giving giving giving and not feeling appreciated. And what's crazy is that all of those things are things I should be working on. You shouldn't give to be appreciated. I know that. You should be able to find happiness in the chaos. And my Niko should bring me joy as he brought me the title of mom.

So tonight we will hopefully check getting a tree off our list. It's one of those do it for the kids things. And fortunately it should be unseasonably warm. After last years frigid tree adventure it will be a nice change.

We are squeezing in concert rehearsals (not for S as she has no instrument) and swim practice as well. Rehearsals go for 2 hours. But there is only one and that is a great blessing :)

Good Times!

The news

T had his homework in M's room. I looked until 2 am for nothing. The good news is that he did know where it was.

I've giving up on advent calendars. Everyday the kids bug me and bug me about getting them down so they can eat their chocolate. I decided I don't care. I announced at breakfast that they could take them to their rooms and eat every piece of chocolate if they wished. I just didn't want to hear anything about them. Why didn't I do this before? It takes the pestering off me and sets up natural consequences. If you eat your candy too early, you'll be out of luck. I guess moms are slow learners some times.

My kids ate cereal for breakfast with no milk. I haven't done any real grocery shopping in almost 2 weeks and had no eggs and no milk. I've done so well with my you have to have homemade breakfast 4 schooldays a week but this week I have failed. I'll try better next week.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

I lost T's homework. I swear I saw it last night or this morning. I thought briefly about having him take it to school but didn't because he can't report his reading minutes early.

And tonight I just can't find it. I have searched and searched. And all this searching is after searching for my sewing machine pedal. M has the quilt all cut and pinned that she is making for her teacher's baby. Now I can't find the pedal. What is worse is that I couldn't find it last time I was going to lend the machine out. Then, weeks later, I saw it. And I can't remember what, if anything, I did with it. M good friend told me to pray about it and I told her I just couldn't. I hate to say it but when you bring something on yourself, I don't think you should expect a miracle. If I had put the dang thing away, I would know where it is now. If I had hung T's homework back up under his magnetic clippy thing, I would know where it is.

And all this searching was done in between sessions of pouring over my driving schedule. I have a bit of a quandary a the moment. I have to drive the 350-525 miles a month to get T to his swim practices (depending on how many times a week he goes... has to go a min of 3 or he can get kicked off the team). Do I stop my carpools and just do all the driving myself. It doesn't really matter timewise because I have to drive near dance anyway. But M loves her carpool (I may have already blogged about all this but it's still heavy on my mind so it might just be getting a duplicate post) and well, I hate for the kids to spend almost 3 hours in the day in the car when they aren't in lessons. What kind of life is that ? So if they carpool and I have a sitter some days then there is lesson of that watching you grow older in the backseat of a car thing going on. But the sitter is going to suck up the me slush fund. I was wondering where it was going and now I have figured it out. Some of it has been going to pay sitters while I drive carpools which are too big for my kids plus the carpool kids.

Anyway... back to the homework thing. While searching for it I did find two assignments that weren't turned in this week. I can't say much since I lost his last assignment. I would be mad but well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

In other news....

M got interested in blogging this week.

T had his fastest times at a swim meet. He also had his first disappointment in his results. The best part was when I asked him how he was going to swim his backstroke. I wanted to know how he planned on handling the turn. He said something to the effect of "You know, on your last stroke you turn over and do a flip turn." Um, T, have you ever done that? Maybe you should go and talk to your coach. Coaches suggest was to just slow down like a 25, touch the wall and turn around and start back. He really thought he could just try a backstroke flip turn for the first time during a race. You don't slow down when you do those and you'll whack your head if you aren't careful.

D found out he doesn't need a palate expander. He doesn't however need some other orthodontia and will be getting it soon. I had fun taking pictures of him at the dentists as they put these contraptions in his mouth. He was a good sport about it.

S hasn't quite made it back from our trip to AZ. She's still out of sorts. Today she did get her anger under control enough that I could let her play outside at violin. That was a big plus for both of us because she really loves it and well, it's hard to have the kids inside during lessons. There are just too many of them.

C has been on a draw all over things. It has been permanent marker lately on her bed, bedding, blinds.... (maybe she had a thing about the letter b). It has been really frustrating. She's the uberdestructo girl right now.

And at the dentist we managed ZERO cavities :) That's two times in a row. No cavities for a year. We went out to eat to celebrate.

And as for me, well, I haven't managed to do anything well. I haven't figured out what is best. Do I keep trying to do everything frazzled or a few things really well. It's too much stress to even decide. So I'll just keep plugging along :)

D's baptism went well. He was thrilled with all the people who came to see him. We had a fun party at our house with his cousins after. After everyone left gave me the first relaxing time I had felt in quite some time. It was great to that feeling even if it didn't last.

On tap for this weekend is C's 4th birthday. We have a party to go to and as I am feeling so festive, I am certain it'll be a blast.

My little Niko has come to my mind quite a few times in the past week. He finds more of a place in my mind during this, his season. Maybe it's another reason I am more scatterbrained. It's hard to balance the heavens and the earth all in on mortal's thoughts. Hopefully, I can be forgiven for all the things I mess up on while trying to manage it.

So my mom wants to know.....

T found out his teacher is heading home at a similar time that we will be travelling. T told me he was going to ask for a map to her house so he could visit her. DH and I joked around that he could just drive down with her, perhaps in her trunk and we'd give her a couple of dollars so she could toss him a hamburger now and then. We all laughed.

I emailed her today and told her pretty much, "Hey, sorry if he bugs you. He doesn't get that teachers don't want to see their students on their breaks."

Tonight before bed he tells me he told his teacher, "My mom wants to know if I can go to AZ with you."

What a turkey!

Then he asked me if he could. Apparently she's flying and he has never flown and thinks she'd be a good buddy to try flying with.

And onto the other kids.....

M is playing the violin with her little choir. I asked her if she had the music and she said she didn't and that it seemed a little weird sometimes but then it sounds fine. Hmmm... I guess they sing with a CD.

T is swimming really well. He was leading out today because he kept passing everyone. I love seeing him really focus on something.

D is so excited for his invention of a robot with a television in his belly. The box is painted a bright orange right now.

S is still trying to recover from our trip to AZ. She's a screamer these days. We had playgroup here today though and she did pretty well with her friends. Tonight she hated me and then adored me and couldn't stop hugging me.

C is one hard 3 year old. Once she is tired there is just nothing you can do with her. The freckles she gave herself earlier in the week are almost gone. She thinks she's five or older it seems.

I conquered a 25 lb bag of onions today. I don't want to admit how long they were on my counter. I finally got them all chopped up and frozen. I can't believe I haven't cleaned my house more when we have a family shin dig here in a couple of days.

And with that I am done. I'm feeling less stressed today. I had to turn down helping one lady with a carpool issue because I just couldn't do it. But then another person called about a different carpool and I was able to make it work. I felt much less like a loser that way.