Running Away

I was reminded last night, by a friend, that I was neglecting my blog a bit. Actually, she didn't say that at all. I'm adding neglecting because I really was. S has been having rough days and it zaps me of my umph.

So before I get to today I should probably say a few things (or a few more than a few) about last week.

M had her dance performance. Overall I think it was very well done. Her teacher really goes out of her way to have something very polished and age appropriate. I love how doesn't just throw in random dances but incorporates them into the story of the ballet. The sets were beautiful. The older dancers were very polished. Good dancing gives me goose bumps and I surely had goose bumps during the performance. Because I grew up pretty much at a preprofessional ballet school I look for other things than your regular audience member. I love a nice solid perfect effortless double turn over a quad that started by winding up the torso. I look for turned out supporting legs more than legs up to the ears. I think M's teacher does a fabulous job at creating good dancers.

M and her class did a good job. They were on stage for quite some time. I thought it was really cute that M and her friends were trying to figure out ways to add character to their roles. I love that she is happy on stage because it is so NOT her personality to be the center of attention. I was grateful that her ankle held out for the night. She says it feels much better now and that she really only feels it hurt when she runs on bumpy surfaces. She does have a little bit of a problem on stage because she doesn't have her glasses on and things are pretty blurry. But since she doesn't want to try contacts, it is something she will just have to deal with. I loved putting on her eyelashes and giving her swan eyes (that's what I call the stage makeup that I do).

We did have a bit of a blow up in between performances. When she took off her costume the clear strap to her nude colored leotard came off and she lost it. The thought of actually ASKING others if they had seen it was more than she could handle. She ended up blowing up about it and instead of going to dinner together we came home for the break. In the end, she found it and it was no big deal. I would love to say I didn't know where this comes from, but I know it's from me. Hello, I'm the one who could barely order a pizza on the phone when I got married.

Some friends came to her performance. I couldn't believe that all four came. Jason's friend is a good guy to have come. It's torture for many guys to sit through a ballet. It most likely was for him too. His girls were cute and didn't seem to think it was the most miserable experience on the face of the planet. And because T thinks their oldest daughter is cool, the ballet wasn't the most miserable experience for him either. Amy brought her camera and shot pics. I have a few that I took so there is some memory. This is my only gripe with M's dance school. Moms like pictures. We don't necessarily want cheesy posed ones, just real ones on stage in costume. Unless we volunteer to work backstage there is no opportunity to get them as we can't go backstage and the costumes don't come out. I went to get my camera out as we had front row seats this time and it wasn't in my purse. Fortunately it was in my friend's car and I got it back today. Amy used her nice camera and her great photo skills to get a few.

T had a good week at school. He brought a note home from school from a student intern he had. It read, "Dear T, you are one crazy kid, but I really liked you. Thanks for trying hard to be good for my lessons. (heart) Miss N" You are one crazy kid sums it up for him. He also had a field trip this week. They went to a farm. He had fun as any kid would when there is a day off of school. He and D have been playing Legos like crazy. They have some crazy game they created. It's so much nicer when they get along.

D had a good week at school as well. He played with T as well as my friend's daughter. He seems to be figuring things out most of the time. I love seeing things come together. We still have a ways to go, don't get me wrong but I believe he is starting to feel more secure. He earned his Lego castle back and was more than happy to spend a lot of time following each of the instructions. He can do this for hours. He got a little off track today and had to go to his room but he managed to not blow things way out of proportion. He has no idea what a huge thing this is for him.

We'll skip S for now and go onto C as C's will be shorter. C was a little stinker this week. She ended up in her room several times. Last night we went to get ice cream and she was so wanting to do this trampoline jumping thing. The kids know they don't get to do stuff like that unless they have their own money. They chose to blow it how they wish and other than D, they almost always blow every cent. S doesn't get an allowance until she stops destroying things and C doesn't get one until she is out of pull ups. C really thought if she got in line often enough or complained more loudly that we might change our minds and let her jump on the trick tramp. Sorry kiddo, that's not going to fly! She also has this thing about flower hair clips. I think they are cute. There is no problem there. It's the fact that she likes to wear them right on top of her head. I am done arguing with her on that one. If she wants to look like Daisy Head Maisy then so be it.

And me, let's see... I went to the park a couple of times to get my running in. One day I went out and did a 3.3 mile loop. I'm out of shape. That wears me out. I'm hoping this running helps shape me up a little bit. I'm not expecting a miracle or anything. But a little toning would be nice. I've got a long ways to go.

I went yard sale shopping on Saturday. I can't believe I was missing out for so long. I used to be, well, a little too snobby I guess. But heck, some people have superb stuff. I hit the jackpot for M. Two of my friends came after me and we had fun together. I really needed stuff for the two youngest but didn't get much for them. Boys are really hard to find things for as they are hard on their clothes. Anyway, it was fun. I didn't find any more paint with water books from the 70's (Did I mention I saw one that was going for 16 bucks on ebay... same type I had... I guess the ones I was letting S and C use are considered vintage. Oh well, I only paid a quarter!)

DH was a little under the weather this week. I think he had a cold which started to get better and then was replaced by allergies. Dads who are sick are a little different than moms. It doesn't matter if a mom is sick, life has to go on.

Now onto S. S struggled all week. On Monday she was mad over something and I asked her to sit on our white couches and cool down. She took her teeth to them. It was a bummer as on Wednesday we got our new couches and the natural consequence of trying to eat the old couches because you are mad is to not sit on the new ones. The week just kept continuing like that. Saturday she had a hard day and we just weren't in the mood for it. She was just pushing her limits everywhere. And each time she broke a rule it was our fault for some reason.

This morning everything was an issue for her. She and C woke us up by fighting. S isn't supposed to be out of her room in the morning until we come and get her. She isn't one that can just wander the house by herself. C wasn't being a little angel either. She's more than willing to fight with S. So we told her to go back to her room and that just got her going. She didn't like her option of breakfast and screamed about that all morning. She didn't eat it. (Quinoa) Everything was an issue it seemed. She got so mad that she destroyed where the rails meet the wood on one of the foot boards on her bed. She totally broke the wood. Yep, you heard me right. She destroyed her bed. The frame no longer works. I had her shower, did her hair, gave her a cute dress she hadn't ever worn to wear to church and left for choir. When she got to church she was all smiles. She was back to putting on her performing face. I didn't really care. I was happy to not have to deal with any issues. But after church she started screaming and tantruming. I sent her to her room but heard her screaming outside at the kids. And that led to the rest of the day....

I had to go in. I couldn't ignore her as we have had conversations about opening the window. I went in to hold her because it was obvious she wasn't getting control of herself. But I'll be honest. I wasn't perfect at holding. I talked to her at first. It's a classic no no. No negative attention! So I held her and she screamed and head butted me and tried to bite me. She had finished off her bed and half the mattress was on the ground. The bed frame is beyond repair. She pushed her screen off her window. And unfortunately there was a wasp that had snuck behind the screen as a result. I shut the window and told her that wasps would most likely be her consequence if she opened her window. I also found she banged something on her wall near her window. A chunk of the sheet rock is missing and will require a repair someday. So here I am holding her... holding and holding. She screams I am hurting her (classic... then she'll turn it right off because I am not hurting her, I am just ticking her off). And she just wouldn't stop. Finally I was sick of her trying to bite or spit. Usually I would just leave her in her room but I couldn't because she was opening the window and the screen wasn't even on it. Instead, I told her she had to stop or I was going to toss a toy. She immediately was defiant and so I went looking in her closet and found a rock. I threw the rock away and she zoomed out of the house.

T, in his zipper jammies and roller blades zoomed off after her. I wasn't sure what to do. If I followed after her then I am giving her the negative attention she was wanting. It's obvious that her old stunts aren't as effective because she is digging a little deeper. But after a few minute I decided I needed to go find them. They were only on the other side of the block. I drove up and told T to go home. I really expected S to follow but she just sat there. So I drove down the street so I could watch the street and make sure that no creepy people were stopping at that house but so S couldn't see me. I talked with a couple of ladies I know and then I just couldn't wait and I went to find her. She wasn't there and I assumed that she had zoomed home. I drove home and she wasn't there. The kid had continued to walk away from our house. Luckily for me she was still on the street that she had been on when I told T to go home. She was just running (literally) away. I couldn't believe she made it out of our little neighborhood and wasn't going to stop. I drove up and she just kept on cruising. I told her to turn around and go home or I was going to have to call someone to pick her up because she wasn't going to be safe on the street. She turned around and went home.

It was bedtime so I gave her medicine and put her to bed. We went outside in the front yard because it was a beautiful night and we really didn't want to hear her screaming at us inside. Okay, so the kid tried to climb OUT of her window. Her window is not near the ground. She was just being plain dangerous. It changes everything. We are going to have to put a lock on her window because she crossed a boundary. I promise you each time she is mad she'll try it now. I can't have her wake up in the night and decide she is angry and is going to leave. I also can't let her play for even a few minutes in the front yard without being right there because she gets angry with little warning and I can't have her bolting. The natural consequences are really high for these actions. The therapists think she is brilliant. I know she is much smarter than your average kid. So why oh why can't she figure out that she is creating miserable circumstances for herself. I can't watch her every second of the day. I just can't and until there is a lock on that window I can't know she is even safe playing toys in her room.

She demanded a new bed. What? You wreck the one you have and you think we are just going to get a new one. Sorry Charlie. I hate that she is going to have just her mattress and box springs on the ground. Some of it is that I hate that it makes us look like bad parents. It's not that we are favoring the others by letting them have beds. She just won't stop being destructive. Even with meds that help her sleep she took over 2 hours to go to sleep. She was really wound up and irate.

She wore me out. I didn't let her know it, but she did. I'm tired of not being able to do fun things with the kids because there is so much crud to deal with. Please kiddo, figure out that life is more fun when you make good choices.

So I made cookies and ate more almond flour and coconut cookies than I should have. They are so dang heavenly though. And now it's late. I need to get the rest of my dishes done. I purposely didn't run them because I knew the cookies would make a mess.

Tomorrow is a busy day. We have group violin lessons and swim team. I have yet to pick which I want T to miss as his are at the same time. I'm hoping the boys can both have a decent day at school and that S simmers down a bit. I'm going to go and check her window one last time before she goes to bed to make sure it's locked. Tomorrow it'll have a real lock on it and I won't have to worry so much.