Hmmm... that dang circle of life

My grandpa is leaving the hospital. He doesn't know he is never going home. I'm so sad for him. He's going to a hospice type home to die. What's sad to me is that he is with it enough to figure it out. My mom said she went to see him at the hospital today and he got excited and asked her how her trip to Alaska went. Of course, I don't think that it's a great option to keep him alive on feeding tubes and respirators when his body is worn out. He has stage 3 kidney disease, heart failure, liver problems, and who knows what else.

I know it's the right thing to do but I'm still sad. Won't he figure it out when they fail to bring him his blood thinners and asthma meds. He's had them most of his life. Maybe his body will be so tired he won't care. I'm pretty comfy with death. It is a big part of my life. Still, I feel like it's a rotten secret at the moment. I would hate it if everyone else knew I was supposed to die in the next week or two but me.

And yet life goes on. We had a busy busy day once again. Then tonight I went to a class to get ideas on keeping my kids happy all summer. I just don't know when to find the time. Tomorrow we have the morning off, then D has therapy. We will cruise home with a cranky baby that couldn't take a nap because of therapy, grab the violins, go to violin lessons which end at 3:30, then rush over to M's swim lessons that start at 3:35. Then at 5:00 T has t-ball practice. I don't know how some parents do it. The swim lessons are more than we would normally do but the kids really NEED to learn to swim. But still, how did we get so busy?

I'm not sure what is going to happen if my grandpa dies right about the same time as dh's sister is getting married next weekend. UGH!

Oh, and I didn't run today. I wanted to but I just couldn't squeeze it in. That means I have to do 3 more days this week.

Positive Note- I almost got through my laundry today. I am sure by now there is a load to do but earlier I was down to less than a load.